Thursday, June 5, 2008

Much Ado about Weddings

I have a small rant about weddings. Not specifically about them, but about the people who insist on making them a ridiculous affair. I understand that weddings are individual to the couple, but I find these days that people are more concerned about their weddings then what it's symbolizing.

My wedding was about Sean and I and our commitment to each other and sharing it with our friends and family. Our wedding was a small affair, we didn't have a huge reception at a country club, limos to and from the church and I didn't have a $5,000 dollar dress that was custom made for me. We worked with the budget we had and I loved our wedding. Sure there were a few things I wish I could have had or incorporated into the wedding, but to me it's not a big deal.

My aggravation about this comes from a girl that I attended church with for a number of years and also went to school with. I don't so much have an issue with her, but with her parents. They are the type of parents that brag and boast about every single little thing their child does. The father is the music minister of my church back home and insists on making announcements about what great things his daughter or son has done in the past week. Mind you this is done during our praise and worship service, something I find highly inapporpriate.

This girls mother has informed my mother on several occasions that I "stole" her daughters wedding colors and just won't let it go. It's ridiculous because I had already started planning my wedding before her daughter was even engaged! And to insinuate I have nothing better to do then try to steal her daughters ideas is quite insulting to me.

They are the type of parents that made her wedding into a huge ordeal. You would have thought Princess Di was getting married all over again. It's not my money and so they can do what they want, but it was more about impressing people then anything and I just think that church-going people should be a little bit above that.

My mom however, did inform me that several things I did/or decorated with at my reception were identically duplicated at theirs. I told my mom if she was the type of woman that this other lady was then she would have marched right over there and accused her daughter of stealing my ideas. My mom and I got a good laugh out of that.

I just don't understand people sometimes. A wedding is one day! Why spend a ridiculous amount of money just to impress people? That's not what marriage is about.


Caitlin said...

I totally agree. Rob and I recently "decided" (it could still change) to do a courthouse wedding. I feel like if I did a big one we'd be miserable because it would all be for everyone else. I mean you're right, it's individual to the couple...but I think it's weird to spend a downpayment on a house on a ceremony.

d.a.r. said...

Just to pipe in from the other side:
We spent way too much money on our wedding, but it is not something we regret in the least. We are both from big Catholic families, and huge weddings with 200+ people in attendance are expected/customary. It would have really offended our family had we not done a huge wedding with a sit down dinner. And, to be honest, it was something we really wanted. It was about the start of our marriage yes--that was what the ceremony was for. But the reception? That was for our families, and for our friends. Our way of saying "thank you" for their support and love over the years and their attendance at our wedding, and their support for our marriage. It was to celebrate with the people we love. Yes, parts of it were about us--the first dance, cutting the cake, etc. But the food? The dancing? That was for our family and friends. I think it should be.

Weddings are SO personal depending on where you grew up, what your heritage is, and what your family is accustomed to. What is tacky to one group of people is totally acceptable to others. Example: to have a reception without a full meal is horribly rude where I come from. It is an insult to your guests who flew across the country to see you on your big day, etc. To others, lavish weddings are a waste. It's all relative, I suppose.

Truly, as long as the couple is happy, who the heck cares :)

d.a.r. said...

Ps---I adore the new layout!

Jrzy Army Wife said...

I agree. I had the "big one" the first time around and we got divorced.

The second time it was me and the hub.. married at a walk in office by a judge who married couples on his lunchbreak.

I liked the second one so much better than the first.

trying said...

great post. weddings are one day, a marriage is a lifetime. i have better things to spend my money on then 12 hours. we had a small wedding right around christmas but it felt like it was more for the families then it was for us.

low budget all kthe way for us and i dont regret it one bit. by the way i love the new layout!