Thursday, May 29, 2008


I have a online ticker for Sean and I's anniversary on my computer and today it reads 1 month and six days. (This would be for our Justice of the Peace wedding, not our ceremony in case anyone is confused) I look back over this past year and marvel at where I was then and where I am now.

This time last year, Sean and I were dating (as best as you can 9 hours apart)talking on the phone all the time, constantly texting each other and talking from time-to-time about marriage. I knew at this point last year that I was going to marry him, although I didn't know that it would be quite so soon. I remember being a little bit scared about how much my life would change, but also being very excited about all the new opportunities that would come with it as well. All I knew at that time was that I loved this man and it didn't matter where he was going, I was going too.

Now, almost a year later I look at the good times and rough times we've had. I am an Army wife, something that I never planned on being as I was growing up. I was never one of those girls that had a thing for those "men in uniform" and I never had a favorite branch of the military. I had some friends like that, but I was never one of those girls. I didn't know anything about the Army before I married Sean. I couldn't tell you what someone's rank was just by looking at their uniform, what unit they were in and forget all those acronyms that come with being in the military lifestyle. I was a newbie and I still am. I still have to ask Sean questions everyday about things he tells me or things I hear.

I love this life. I don't love the deployments that inevitably will come, I don't love the long hours or the whole "hurry up and wait" menality, but I love our life. I love coming home and seeing Sean in his ACU's, looking so handsome and in charge. I enjoy the people that I meet and the opportunities that this lifestyle will provide with me being an Army wife.

I think about this past year and the things Sean and I have gone through, being apart for the first five months of our marriage and how that is going to prepare me for future separations. I think of us as a strong couple, even though we are still growing and learning how to be married. To me that's not something you can learn or even do in just a few months time.

My husband may irritate me and frustrate me at times and sometimes I think I hate the Army and some of the things that they do, but I would never want to be anywhere than where I am right now, with any other man in the world.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Just Checking In

I've been trying to get back here to blog the last few days, but it's just been impossible. I've been semi-busy at work and once I'm at home I've been trying to pick up the house, make dinner, work-out and spend time with Sean, which doesn't leave much time for blogging.

Sean is going to most likely be gone most of next week though with live fires and late nights at the ranges so I will probably be on here a little more next week. He got a certificate of achievement today at an awards ceremony for this last rotation that he helped with. That means five promotion points for him, so we were happy about that. He should get promoted before the end of the year if not sooner than that. I for one, will be very glad of that.

I have an awful headache tonight, it just came out of nowhere. As soon as I'm done blogging I'm going to take a nice warm shower and then settle down for bed. Sean has a jump in the morning so he has to be at work early (around 5:45) so I'll be getting up to drop him off and then come back and attempt to sleep for a few more minutes. Honestly I should just stay up and work out since the 15 or 20 minutes of laying in bed really isn't worth it. I doubt working-out happens though, but you never know. A small miracle might occur.

I think Boomer is going to have to start going back in his crate while I'm at work. The last week I've been letting him stay out, but after several accidents and some torn-up trash, I've decided that he's going to have to go back in. It's the accidents that are the worst. Somedays he waits until I get home and then others he goes a couple of times. It's frustrating, but I just can't have that happening everyday. to the shower and then into bed.

Hope everyone's week is going well!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Sunday...a day of rest

What a lazy day today has been. I'm guilty about making Sunday my lazy day. I really ought to go to church, I've been attending church since birth and Sean and I are both the same faith, but we still have yet to attend a service here. I want to start going somewhere and so does he, we just have yet to actually get up and go.

I've been so tired today. However, I didn't go to bed last night until around 2:00 a.m., but I got up around 8:30 this morning, cleaned and puttered around the house a bit and then laid on the bed for a couple of hours and napped. I just finished tanning outside. Woo! It was hot! Also very humid. I thought Oklahoma heat was bad, but you don't know heat until you come down to Louisiana and experience the awful humidity that goes with it. It's seriously like the air is a wet blanket around you. It also does nothing for your hair, let me assure you of that.

Last night we went to Alexandria with a couple who are friends of ours for a Mixed Martial Arts match. I go to these from time to time with Sean because he enjoys them. They really aren't my cup of tea. They never fail to be entertaining though, I'll give them that much. Not so much with the people actually in the ring, but with the people in the audience. I laughed so hard last night at some people that I actually cried. It was good people-watching. We ate at Chili's before the match and it was so good. I haven't eaten at Chili's in many months and to have Mushroom Jack Fajitas again was just heavenly. Of course I'm paying the price today with an extra pound or two registering on the scale, but I'm sure the large margarita I had last night didn't help either.

As I had mentioned I wanted to get a massage this weekend, but I tried calling several times Friday and always got a busy signal so I'll try again for next weekend. My back could use some pampering. I think Sean and I might try to catch a movie tomorrow if they are open. I'm thinking maybe some Indiana Jones action. No matter how old Harrison Ford gets I still think he's pretty cute.

I have a question for those readers out there. Where do you get your blog templates? I'm wanting to change mine. I have used for a few templates of mine, but I'm wondering if theres any other sites out there that have some great templates.

Friday, May 23, 2008

4:00...hurry up!

We leave at 4:00 on Fridays here at the office and it's all I can do not to get up and run out of here now. We have had no work to do in the last four hours and so I've been surfing various websites since then. ( policy says that's ok, don't think I'm a slacker)

I just want to start my weekend already! Hurry up 4:00!

I would really like to stop by the jewelry store and get a new nose ring, but I don't really want to go out of my way to do that, so I might just wait until later this weekend. Besides I'm starving and piece of bread with pesto on it sounds amazingly good right now.

Ok, so this is totally off-topic but I've noticed something down here in Louisiana that I've never seen before. Since I work down by the courthouse/sheriff's office I see inmates everyday, they are always outside doing some kind of labor. Sure I've seen inmates picking up trash by the roads before, but never outside everyday doing some kind of work. I guess that's more of a Deep South thing a la Cool Hand Luke? That's the movie where Paul Newman is on a Chain Gang right? Correct me if I'm wrong.

I've been texting Sean on and off throughout the day and apparently he is cooking dinner, which isn't rare for him and also swears he's going to clean the house sometime this weekend. I'd actually rather do it myself when I get home today, but he insisted to let him do it. Guess we shall see how that goes. I need to clean out our car too. It's littered with military equipment, wrappers and various other things that need to be sorted through and cleaned out. Vaccumed too, since I don't like seeing a collection of Boomer hair on my seats.

I hope the weather stays good this weekend, we've been having a lot of storms off and on the last few weeks. Almost makes me think I've never left Oklahoma. Now that's unpredictable weather! If you've never lived in Oklahoma you just have no idea. Even Will Rogers has a famous quote about Oklahoma weather, "If you don't like the weather, just wait awhile and it will change."

This really isn't a quality post from me, but my mind is racing and so I'm going to end it here.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Memorial Day Plans and Massages

This upcoming weekend is Memorial Day. Usually my parents host a pool party and BBQ, but I doubt they are doing either since they will be leaving in just a few weeks for vacation. I wouldn't be able to attend anyway since I'm 9 hours away and gas is $3.61 a gallon.

Instead I think we might be having a small cookout on Saturday. One of Sean's friends and his wife are PCSing within the next two weeks to Alaska. So, it will be a good time to see them before they leave. Sean loves grilling and any excuse for him to do that is just fine with him.

I'm thinking about going to get a massage this weekend. Supposdly there is a really great place here in town and Sean keeps insisiting I go get one. I've never had one so I think it will be a very fun and relaxing time. I just need to remember to call and see if they can get me in. How much does one tip a massusse? (sp?) Let me know about that because I would hate to under-tip.

Work these next couple of days should be good. For starters the rest of the week is casual-wear and I was told we would get off work early on Friday. Of course we have Monday off, so needless to say I'm excited about this weekend.

I'm not sure what they are having in the way of honoring people for this holiday. Back home they had ceremonies at the local cemeteries, but I'm not sure about here. If there is anything going on around post then I'm sure I'll read about it in the paper Friday.

When I went shopping yesterday for some groceries I bought some Butoni pesto. I've been eyeing it for about the last 5 months, but I know how I get when I buy pesto so I've left it alone...until now.

I have an addiction to it....and I'm not afraid to admit it. It's so delish to mix in pasta, which I did last night to our chicken spaghetti or just to eat plain on a piece of bread. I'm even guilty of eating it by the forkful out of the container. I told you I had an addiction!

I can't believe that it's almost June! Soon it will be Sean's birthday (July 4th) our anniversary (July 5th) and my birthday (July 13th). My how time is flying by this year. Before I know it, it will be crunch time on PCSing out of here and I'll be on my way to Italy. I'm so excited about it, but I keep reminding myself that I will miss some things. Like my favorite restaurants, normal voltage plug-in's, closets....but it's all worth it to me of course. Just another exciting chapter in this crazy life we call the military!

Anyone have any plans for the weekend? Care to share?

Monday, May 19, 2008

He's Home!

Sean came home from the field late Sunday afternoon. It was good to see him again, although I have to say it wasn't great to smell him. Four days of no showers made him less than appealing.

We spent the rest of the night cuddling and watching TV, so I'd have to say my weekend ended well.

I did go to Alexandria on Sunday and buy some new clothes. Forever 21 and The Limited got a good chunk of my money, but I really did need new work clothes. Especially some new pants. I had two pairs of nice, black dress pants and those are pretty loose on me. I got some cute stuff though and I wore one of my new outfits today. I felt very "Working Girl" esque.

The pictures I took in Leesville Saturday didn't turn out as well as I hoped. For one the lighting wasn't quite right because it was cloudy, but I'll share one of the pictures with you anyway.

Dinner tonight was actually decent for no thought going into it. Sean won't be off work until 8:00 and I was starving so I used some leftover hamburger meat, tossed in some cut up onions and Portabello mushrooms, put that on one slice of bread with some feta cheese on top and Wha La! Delish! I'm obsessed with feta cheese. I love to eat on my salads and I recently got some that has basil and tomato in it. So good! I highly recommend it.

Well..I'm off to go run before Sean is off work. Hope your Monday was great!

Friday, May 16, 2008

My Wish List

Now that I'm working I've been thinking about some things that I want to buy. After I put a dent in my bills of course, have to be a responsible adult before I indulge myself. I've seperated the items into things we need and things I want.

Things We Need

A new Queen sized mattress. We are currently sleeping on a very uncomfortable full sized bed. This is probably what I'm going to get first. I need a comfy, large bed!

Floor lamps- at least two. Our living room gets kind of dark.

Things I Want

A Chi straightner. This humidity in Louisiana does nothing for my hair. I need agood straightner to combat this.

The new Canon Rebel XTI. One of my goals/dreams is to be a professional photographer. I'm going to buy this camera for my 25th birthday present to myself.

A new laptop. I've never had a laptop, but I want one. This isn't a necessity since Sean and I are going to get a new desktop for ourselves, but I would SO love to have my own laptop. *Sigh*

Of course the obvious clothes, shoes and various seasons of my favorite T.V. shows are also on the list, but those aren't really noteworthy.

Sean still is in the field, so looks like Boomer and I will be hanging out tonight. I'm contemplating going to the gym to run, but I'm also hungry and would like to eat. I don't like to eat before going running though as it makes my stomach unsettled. What to do?

One thing I am going to do tomorrow is take my camera to downtown Leesville and take pictures. I work on Main Street and while walking to the post office today I noticed so many things I want to take pictures of. If any of them are good I'll try to post them tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a great start to their weekend!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Lazy Days

Today I am in the mood for sushi. I blame it on my boss who brought up sushi today and asked me if I liked it.

Like it? I love it!

I won't be dining on sushi tonight though, I might treat myself to some this weekend, but tonight dinner will probably either be A. Cereal or B. a PB&J with a baked potato. I just don't feel like putting together a big meal when Sean isn't here to eat it with me. Plus I didn't feel like going to the commissary today either. I put that little errand off until tomorrow.

It stormed so bad here last night! I woke up to the sound of wind and rain beating against the glass. In my half-asleep stupor I thought of Sean, out in the woods somewhere, probably soaked. I felt bad for him, but then resumed sleeping. (Sleep is a big thing with me, I love it.) Ha ha

I had my EFMP screening today and can I just say what a waste of time? I was in the office for this screening for exactly 2 mintues. Enough time for them to ask me two questions, save the data and then tell me that they would fax it to the appropriate person. Today is one of those days when I don't understand the Army procedures at all.

I feel extremely lazy today. Like I don't want to do anything but lay in bed and read a book. I will make myself go to the gym for an hour tonight because I NEED to, but then I'm sure I will resume my lazy ways.

On that to watch some Seinfeld.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Home Alone

Sean is in the field for who knows how many days. I'm hoping he'll be back by the weekend, but I don't know that for sure.

I already miss him and I just saw him a few hours ago.

I have to admit that sometimes I wonder how I am going to deal when he deploys. I know that I CAN deal with it. I just wonder how hard it's going to be since I miss him so quickly when he is just in the field for a few days.

At least I have Boomer to keep me company. Although he's been a bit incessant with ball squeaking tonight. I have the feeling I'm going to have to hide the ball soon.

I've been so busy this week that I've had absolutley no time for blogging. Since Sean is gone I thought tonight would be a good night to update. Actually today he told me that it makes him feel sad some nights when I'm on the computer for a long time or on the phone. I do see his point. Since we both work now I only see him for about five hours before we go to bed. However, I also feel like that's a little unfair because I obviously can't blog or check websites like MySpace when I'm at work and I also can't talk on the phone to my friends or family until I get home. I guess that's something we'll have to talk about more in depth.

Work is going very well. I feel like I'm getting into the hang of things now and really understanding my duties and performing them well. Of course there are new things to learn everyday, but I think I've got the basics down well.

Tomorrow I'm actually getting off work early because I have a pre-overseas screening at the hospital tomorrow. It's not until 2:30 and knowing our hospital I could be there for a long time, so we just agreed that I wouldn't come back to work after that. I'm going to take the time after the hospital to go get some new ACUs for Sean and also get some things sewn up for him.

Well, I need to go do some running this evening. I hope the gym has cleared out a bit. It was packed when I drove by earlier and I hate fighting for a treadmill or elliptical.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Memories of My Mother

I thought in honor of Mother's Day it would be fitting if I posted a memory or two I have of my mother.

One thing I will always associate with my mother is my love of reading. It was she who started reading to me when I was little. Everyday before naptime we would have a story. Some days it was chapters from Robin Hood or Winnie the Pooh, other days it was a Bible story from my illustrated Bible. I loved it when my mother read to me. Her voice was so soothing and she read so well.

Another memory of my mother is when she would curl my hair. I was always dressed to the nines in my holiday outfits. My mother would buy or make a lovely dress, I had frilly socks, matching shoes (usually patent leather) a bow or headband to match my dress, a matching or co-ordinating purse and even sometimes gloves. My mother would roll my hair in curlers the night before and I HATED having that done. For one, I was tender-headed and I didn't like my hair getting yanked on and I also hated having to sleep in the curlers. She started doing this to my hair when I was around 3 or 4 and to this day I do not know how she managed to get a headstrong little girl to wear those curlers to bed! The effects the next day were always great though and I had a headful of bouncing, golden-blonde curls. I realize now that it took a lot of effort on my moms part to dress-me like this, especially when she made co-ordinating outfits for my brother and I when we were small.

My mom is the most intelligent lady I know. She is a very giving, funny and beautiful woman and I hope that someday I will be the kind of mom to my children that she was to me.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

The First Day

I thought some of you might want to know how the first day at my new job went.

Quite simply, I thought it went well.

Everyone was friendly of course, the hours passed by at a moderate pace and my head was crammed with all sorts of legal jargon and instructions on how to process claims, incidents and lawsuits. What to make copies of and who they should be sent to, exclusions on our policy and a million other things that I hope I can get the hang of in the next few weeks.

There is ALOT to learn, but all the women were really patient and told me they didn't expect me to learn it right off and that they expected me to have to ask questions for quite awhile. I'm relieved by that because in some situations there are those employers that expect you to know things from the get-go and that's just not possible in my situation.

I am also loving the relaxed work environment (still professional though) the hour for lunch and getting off at 4:30. Which should mean I can still swing by to pick Sean up from work most days.

I felt awful about leaving Boomer alone all day today though. I seriously almost cried this morning. I tried to play with him for awhile before I left for work, so at least he had some attention and of course this evening he's been requesting many sessions of fetch. I can't say I blame him after being cooped up all day!

Anyway, I'm a bit tired, so I'm going to bed here pretty soon.

I'm ready for the weekend. Who's with me?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

In search of shoes

Meet the naughtiest little dog I know.

Yes, it's the infamous Boomer. I think he might have a career in dog modeling....maybe.

Just kidding!

I went to Payless on a quest for shoes today. On their website they have so many cute shoes. However, I was very disappointed when I got to Payless and saw none of the cute shoes that I had seen on the website. I mean, don't get me wrong, there were cute shoes in the store, but the actually fit oddly on my foot. Usually I wear a 7.5 or 8 in most brands, but those sizes were sliding off the back of my heel and I couldn't find any of the same styles that I liked in the size 7's. So, I had to leave the store empty-handed. Not something I was planning on doing. I'd try to order them online, but I really don't like ordering clothes or shoes online. Everything just fits so differently and I'd hate to end up with a pair of shoes that's too big or too small. I guess I will have to wait until I go to Lake Charles and try that Payless.

Tomorrow is my first day of work and as usual I have the night before jitters. I know it's going to be a good place to work, the people are friendly and it's a small office, but I always get this way before a new job. I used to be this way the night before school started too. I hate being nervous, but I guess its just human nature.

I have a big task ahead of me tonight. I have all my wedding photos uploaded to Walgreens, but now I must pick out the ones I wanted printed off that the photographer didn't print for us and also print off pictures for my family members, my bridesmaids, Sean's grandmother and mother and also decide what picture to use for the picture that will go in our hometown newspaper. Don't get me wrong, I love pictures and choosing them, just seems a little overwhelming right now. At least I don't have to cook supper! I kind of cheated on that one and picked up a Banquet crock-pot meal. That way since I don't know what time Sean will be home I can just leave it in the Crock-Pot and it will be nice and warm for him.

Ingenious you say? I thought so too. Although I'm sure those perfect 50's housewives would be less than pleased.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

My Return to the Gym

I feel so much better today. My allergies seem to be almost gone and I can finally breathe and sleep through most of the night, without having to sit-up and sniff in what I assume can only be the most annoying sound ever. Yay!

Today has been decent so far. I worked out for an hour today after I dropped Sean off for work. It's been a week and a half since I'd worked out and I could already feel the difference. As in my body felt weaker. I made it through my usual free weight workout though and so some of my gym self-confidence returned after that.

Sean was extremely grouchy this morning. I guess it was just one of those days when he really dislikes his job and being in the Army. I'm sure it wasn't helped by the fact that he had to run 5 miles in PT this morning, after they hadn't done PT for almost two weeks. Actually, I don't think it's the Army that he dislikes on days like this, but the unorganization of this particular unit. He's been stationed other places and in different units and he says this one by far is the most unorganized. He's more than ready to leave for Italy and be a part of the 173rd.

Boomer has been a trial lately. It's rained off and on here the last few days and he absolutley HATES getting his feet wet when he goes out to use the bathroom. I understand that, but obviously that's his only choice, since him using our living room as his personal restroom is not something I'm ok with. I took him out 3 times last night and early this morning where he refused to go. At one point I'd really had it and demanded he come to me in the yard in which he promptly looked at me and then ran in the house where he dove under the covers with Sean, where he presumably thought he was safe. I love my little dog, but sometimes he can be a bit much.

I'm watching my friend Devon's two little boys for her tonight, while she goes to an FRG meeting. I don't baby-sit often, but I don't really mind it and they are good little boys so I don't think it'll be too much for me. I'm eager to see how Sean handles the additions of two tots in our normally quite household. He loves kids, but I don't see him interact with them too often. This should be interesting. Ha ha ha.

I'm just loving all these blogs that I'm subscribed to on Blogger. I find it fascinating to read the blogs of women that are spouses of those in the military. It's neat to see that we have a common thread in our life, but yet each of our lives is so different. I don't know, it's just neat to get a perspective of others lives that resemble your own.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Good News!

I have wonderful news! I got a job today! As some of you may know I've been searching for a job since I got to Fort Polk in early January. My job searching has finally paid off. The position with the claims office that I interviewed for several weeks ago is now mine. The office called today and asked if I could come in again this afternoon, so I did and the boss talked to me about how the position was going to be a little bit different and was I ok with that.

Basically I'm not going to be doing as much claims work, although I'll still be doing some and some front-office work. It means the pay is a little bit less, but he said after 30 days that pay would increase, so that's something I can live with and it's still more than I've ever made at a job.

I start on Thursday, so I'm will have to update on how my first day at work goes.

I just feel like a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Now I can finally pay off some of those pesky bills that are constantly on my mind and also save some money as well as get some things that I would like, such as a new mattress. A full just isn't cutting it for us anymore. We weren't hurting for money before, but paying off my bills was going to take awhile and now with both of our incomes that should be no problem. This job is just the answer to my prayers and I know who to thank for that! :)

I celebrated by buying myself a new Yankee candle and a Chicken McNugget Happy Meal from McDonald's.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Monday. This is the best one I've had in awhile!

Friday, May 2, 2008

Being Tactful I didn't make it to the gym today like I promised myself I would. In truth, I just feel awful. Obviously not bad enough to skip blogging, but I consider blogging to be right up there with eating and sleeping.

I just have no energy! My throat hurts, my sinuses hurt, still having awful cramps, it's enough to make a girl just lay on the couch and watch TV. Which is exactly what I did. Sean was kind enough to fix dinner for me tonight and pretty much get me whatever I wanted, so I spent most of today trying to will myself into feeling better.

A friend of mine from back home called me this afternoon and we chatted for a few minutes. I consider this lady to be a good friend, EXCEPT she has one major fault in my eyes. She has no tact whatsoever. Whatever she is thinking she says, which can sometimes be rude or hurtful. In her mind she's being a good friend by telling you the brutal truth, but I just don't agree with that.

Anyway, she asked me what I was doing and I told her, "laying on the couch, watching TV." Her response? "Gee...your life is so rough."

She's said as much to me before and even admonished me when I told her I had gone to the salon or adopted our dog, because in her words, " you don't even have a job, so why are you spending money?" I can tell that she thinks my life is easy, that I do nothing but lounge around all day and am living the easy life. It's frustrating to me that she thinks that.

A. I have always worked since I have been able to and before I met Sean I was working three jobs.I am STILL looking for a job here after 4 months of looking. I have yet to secure any kind of work. Off-post, on-post, government job, even something like a secretary. To say that's frustrating to a college graduate is putting it mildly. I do not enjoy not having even a part-time job.

B. I do more than just sit around all day. I usually take Sean to work, pick him up for lunch, take him back to work and then pick him up after work. I do errands for him and I during the day which could include almost anything. I keep my house in order, I buy groceries, put gas in the car, wash the car, I do laundry, I cook at least 2 meals a day and sometimes 3, I look for jobs during the day and yes I do go workout. I'm sorry that in her eyes that isn't enough or even constitutes as having an easy life, but I have to disagree.

It just frustrates me to no end when people think I do nothing all day but watch TV and play on the Internet. Not true!

I've already gotten slack from a few people when they asked if I would be working when we were in Italy. I told them I doubted it. For one, since I will be in Europe, I plan on seeing as much of it as possible. Second of all, during that time I plan on getting my Masters. I hardly think that's wasting my time, just because I don't have a job.

I just wish some people would be more tactful.

Thursday, May 1, 2008


I don't feel very good about myself this week. Mainly because for the last two months or so I've been trying to eat well and work-out diligently. This past week, I've done awful! Partly because I went back to Oklahoma for four days and partly because it's THAT time of the month and I feel awful. If it's not killer cramps, then it's an awful headache or my allergies acting up. Since I've been back in Louisiana I've worked out ONCE, which is just not me. I just don't feel up to it though.

I think tomorrow is the day though, tomorrow I'm going to get back to working out and eating like I should. One week of slacking isn't that bad. Is it?

I went and helped Devon color her hair today. Per her request of course. I made sure to tell her I've never dyed anyones hair before, but she assured me it would go well and she was right about that. It looked good after it was done, so that was a big sigh of relief for me! She has two little boys, Peyton and Isiah. Ages 2 and 4 months. I played with them a bit and held Isiah off and on throughout the time I was there and he didn't cry! Some babies cry when I hold them, although I've noticed they aren't as prone to do that lately. Perhaps I'm catching on to the correct way of carrying a child? Not sure.

It made me think about kids though. How I'm still very torn about having them. Part of me wants kids now. I want to share a life that Sean and I created and raise that child in the best way I know how. The other part of me enjoys the freedom that I have not having children. I can go to the gym, out to tan, take little trips, all without worrying about my child and/or finding someone to watch them. It's that small selfish part of me that I'm not done enjoying yet and so for the time being I am ok with not being a mom. In the next year or so I am sure that will change, but for now, I'm ok just being a wife.

I can't believe it is already May! This year is just flying past! This time next year, I should have already been in Italy for four months. It's crazy to think about sometimes. It blows my mind to think I'll be living in Europe, so far away and so different from the life I am living now. It's going to be such an adventure, but also have it's scary moments I am sure.

Speaking of Italy, I really should pop in my Italian CD and practice a bit.....