Thursday, May 1, 2008


I don't feel very good about myself this week. Mainly because for the last two months or so I've been trying to eat well and work-out diligently. This past week, I've done awful! Partly because I went back to Oklahoma for four days and partly because it's THAT time of the month and I feel awful. If it's not killer cramps, then it's an awful headache or my allergies acting up. Since I've been back in Louisiana I've worked out ONCE, which is just not me. I just don't feel up to it though.

I think tomorrow is the day though, tomorrow I'm going to get back to working out and eating like I should. One week of slacking isn't that bad. Is it?

I went and helped Devon color her hair today. Per her request of course. I made sure to tell her I've never dyed anyones hair before, but she assured me it would go well and she was right about that. It looked good after it was done, so that was a big sigh of relief for me! She has two little boys, Peyton and Isiah. Ages 2 and 4 months. I played with them a bit and held Isiah off and on throughout the time I was there and he didn't cry! Some babies cry when I hold them, although I've noticed they aren't as prone to do that lately. Perhaps I'm catching on to the correct way of carrying a child? Not sure.

It made me think about kids though. How I'm still very torn about having them. Part of me wants kids now. I want to share a life that Sean and I created and raise that child in the best way I know how. The other part of me enjoys the freedom that I have not having children. I can go to the gym, out to tan, take little trips, all without worrying about my child and/or finding someone to watch them. It's that small selfish part of me that I'm not done enjoying yet and so for the time being I am ok with not being a mom. In the next year or so I am sure that will change, but for now, I'm ok just being a wife.

I can't believe it is already May! This year is just flying past! This time next year, I should have already been in Italy for four months. It's crazy to think about sometimes. It blows my mind to think I'll be living in Europe, so far away and so different from the life I am living now. It's going to be such an adventure, but also have it's scary moments I am sure.

Speaking of Italy, I really should pop in my Italian CD and practice a bit.....


d.a.r. said...

Oh hun, we all have those days/weeks! Don't worry about it, just get back on track and you will feel so much better :)

Btw, kudos to you...because I can't remember the last time I worked out. Even after buying the cute workout clothing and fun yoga DVD!

Jenna said...

I feel that exact same way about children, though I have to say, it is growing more and more towards I want my freedom.

It used to be oh I really want kids, now is now is not a good time because I am in college etc etc. Now the more I hang out with my friends who have kids, the less I want them. Does that mean there is something wrong with me? lol Anyways.

Really like your blog. Europe is amazing as just a traveler, I have only been to Italy once and very briefly. I have spent a lot of ime in France.