Sunday, August 8, 2010

Mil-Spouse Blogger?

I've been searching around the blogosphere today, reading blogs I've never read and in general, just seeing who is out there and blogging right now.

Blogs have changed a lot since I started blogging here 3 years ago. Not a lot of people had cute layouts, with their own buttons and there weren't as many mil-spouse bloggers. Or perhaps there were and we hadn't all gathered together like we seem to these days. Sara, DAR and The Mrs. and Andrea were some of the first blogs I started reading and I still read them to this day. Sometimes it seems overwhelming how many military blogs there are out there. I want to read all of them, to hear everyones' story, but there are just so many that it's pretty much impossible.

I've been thinking today about who I am as a blogger. I would categorize myself as a Mil-Spouse blogger, but quite frankly, I don't blog a lot about the military. I noticed today that there are some mil-spouses that talk about military life or military subjects every single day. That's fine, but that's not me. I'm an Army wife, a proud one, but once Sean is home from work, the military isn't discussed a lot in our home. It's Sean's job and it affects me, but it doesn't define me and it's not something I care to talk about every single day on my blog. I enjoy clothes and photography and books and asking you guys crazy questions.

Do any of you other Mil-Spouses ever feel this way?

32 comments:

Uncork and Unwined said...

The AF is a huge part of our lives, but it isn't the focus of our lives. I am not as "involved" in J's career as some military wives are, and for the most part, we don't discuss it too much at home. Work is work and home life is separate. My blog focuses more on our travel adventures and our shared passions rather than the military life. So, I agree with you!

Elizabeth -Mrs Team Smitty said...

I try not to focus my blog around the military, although I started my blog when he deployed .. I use it as more of a therapeutic tool, or just to "talk". I do write about the military since I was in myself .. but I try to refrain because it normally just makes me angry.

Dogs.Dogtags and;Stilettos said...

I do and I dont. I guess I see the Army as a catalyst to who i would like to be. Because of the unique and unpredictable lifestyle we have it makes me want to work so much harder on being a solid person in my faith and relationships. So while the Army might be in a majority of my posts, its not THE ARMY I am talking about, its how the Army is affecting the person I am, or my marriage, or my perspective on the world around me.

Birdie said...

I rarely blog about the USMC. I did more when Spouse was deployed but now it's rare and usually to complain about bad policies:)

Chelle said...

I blog about the military only when it's affecting me at the moment. I prefer to blog about the kids, my feelings about life, the mishaps I go through, what's been swimming around my brain. If I talked only about the military, I'd bore myself honestly.

Jessica Lynn said...

I'm definitely at the overwhelmed stage, too. It seems like milspouse blogs are everywhere. I'd like to think that I'm a blogger who occasionally writes about the military. I know I have a lot of readers who are not affiliated with the military at all, so I wouldn't want to bore them by just talking about the AF all the time.

Young Mom/Wife said...

I definitely define myself as a military spouse, but I don't discuss it that often on my blog. That is one reason I chose to take a break, so I don't discuss it every day. I don't want the AF life to overtake my blog...
I want people to enjoy reading me because of my kids crazy antics, my awesome (and not so awesome) recipes, etc.

Amanda said...

I blog about the military when it happens to be affecting our lives at the time. But I don't blog about it everyday since it isn't the focus of our day everyday. The point of my blog is to focus on what happens to be going on in my life at the time of the post. This is the main reason that I ended up changing my layout and title of my blog. I think the military is a big part of a Mil Spouse's life because we are tied to it and don't have much control over how it affects our lives, but we do have to be careful to still be our own unique individuals :)

Jessica Lynn said...

Sorry for the double comment, but I thought about something else. It's really starting to bug me that many of the *newer* blogs I'm reading only do the "carnivals or meme posts." I go and look at them and they have a different theme for every day. Nothing is original, they're just answering questions. Don't get me wrong, I participate in some of them, too, but I try not to let that take over my blog.

d.a.r. said...

I love this!! You were one of the first blogs I started reading, too, and connecting with you made me feel so much less alone on this crazy journey :)

It is funny, I blog a lot less about military life now than I did when I first began. I think it is because I am finding my stride in this military life a lot more and am less overwhelmed by it and don't let it take over my entire life. I am not as involved anymore, either, in the day to day stuff of his unit since we now live almost an hour away from post. And, I just feel like I have outgrown the need to blog about it for therapeutic purposes. Maybe I am just so sick of hearing other people with nothing but negative stuff to say that I fear I will come across like that as well? I'm not sure.

Interesting and thought provoking post!

d.a.r. said...

Oh, and to piggy back off of Jessica Lynn's comment--I may stab myself in the freaking eyes if I see another blog that ONLY does Q/A "memes" or blog carnivals. Get some flippin' original material!

Angela Noelle said...

Yeah, I don't really consider myself "milspouse blogger", I'm more of a personal blogger who occasionally writes about my experiences as a military spouse. It's interesting, I've been blogging for five years and have come across TONS of blogs, but it's only in the past month or so that I've discovered this community. But yes, blogging has changed a ton in five years, some things I like, some things I don't.

But that's just kind of life in general? And the nice thing about blogging is for the most part, you can just ignore the parts you don't like ;)

indiana.girl said...

I felt that way when I changed blogs, I wanted to kind of break free of my own idea of what a mil spouse blog should be and just "free write" as it were. But I do enjoy writing about military and mil spouse stuff when I have the material and it's interesting or impactful. Most of the blogs I follow are still mil spouse blogs. I follow the same ones you mentioned and I feel like they are old friends even though I've never met them.

The Mrs. said...

I do! I never know what i am. Am I a mommy blogger who sometimes blogs military or a mil blogger who blogs about her kids but I always come back to, as corny as it may sound, I'm me and I blog about whatever I darn well want to.

I like your blog for the same reason.

T and C said...

I enjoy reading your blog immensely. The Army is definitely a part of our lives, but it does NOT define who my husband and I are as people. In fact, I have it mentioned in my profile, but I rarely blog about it. I've never been a huge blogger. In fact, my blog and I have a hit or miss relationship ... anyway, I definitely concur!

Erin said...

I totally feel that way. I would categorize myself as a milspouse blogger.... but I don't actually blog about the military all the time. I find myself blogging about parenting or twilight more often then military stuff.

Amyschmamey said...

I'm the same way. I am a mil spouse, and I don't blog about my hub being in the Army. When he has something exceptional happen, of course I will, but my blog is about me. :) There are a lot of great blogs out there. I follow some military spouse blogs, but I started blogging before my hubs was in the Army so it's mainly about my likes and dislikes, and having fun :)

Roxanne said...

I agree with you 100%. You know I'm an Army wife. I'm proud of my husband and love our life, but that isn't why I blog. That doesn't mean I still don't want military spouses to stop by little home on the 'net. I do, I just want it to be a place for them to escape, just like it is for me. Sure I could moan about deployment and long work hours (which I do), but it's more fun to pass along fun craft, interesting reads and build relationships outside of our military live. I do think it's important to acknowledge, but like you said, it doesn't define me.

lala [mrs. new guy] said...

You're asking a lot of the same questions I've been pondering lately.

I started my blog as a freshman in college, so not only have blogs changed around me, but I've changed a lot.

I feel like I want to remember what it's like to experience these new things as a military wife, and I think back to when I hadn't yet experienced a deployment or hadn't yet met another military wife, and I wished I'd had a blog to read that was sort of a how-to. Now I've found lots of blogs and books like that, but sometimes I just want to record my own take on milspouse life, since I know I'll probably forget in a year or two.

I think most of my posts have been stupid and boring lately, but my goal is to try not to slack off so much and revive that damn blog of mine. I think the military will make an appearance a few times this month since so many events we're attending are military related, but I'm happy to post about other parts of my life.

In sum, I met one of Matt's co-workers the other day. I said hello and introduced myself, and he said, "Oh, you're Matt's wife," sort of ending the conversation. I then told him, with an eyebrow raised, "Um, yes, I am Matt's wife. But you don't have to call me that. You can use my real name."

I am not just "Matt's wife," and I am more than just a military spouse!

Beth said...

I rarely blog about the Army, although sometimes I have something interesting to say about it. I agree with some of your other commenters, D's job is the Army and other than living on post, our lives (okay, my life) aren't really defined by it. I do identify as a mil-spouse blogger though, but there is so much more to me than just that!

Julie the Army Wife said...

I do blog a lot about the military, but it is such a part of my life now. I can't get away from it...lol. I do blog about other things too. Kinda blog about whatever comes to my mind each day. I think some weeks are more military related than others though.

lola said...

I try to mix it up a bit. I really hate when people define themselves solely as a military spouse, because there is so much more to life than just being married to someone in the military. I've gotten involved with a lot of organizations [some on post, some off/unrelated to the military] and have really enjoyed the mix of different ideas and people.

♥Miss Brittney♥ said...

I couldn't agree more! My hubby is in the navy and thats his job but I really don't like to let it take up any more space in my life than it already does...I do consider myself a milspouse blogger, because I made my blog as a way to vent and help me get through my hubby's current deployment, but military issues isn't at all the only thing I write about on my blog. I love to share my adventures with friends and family, as well as music videos I like and I like to write about fashion and movies I enjoy. Of course I write about how the military has and continues to affect my everyday life, but i really don't feel my blog is centered around it. That would just be too boring! lol

Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

The Air Force is the underlying current of my life so naturally it comes out in my blog posts... as an underlying theme. I'm a mil-spouse blogger but I'm also a woman who is dealing with a marriage and kids and life stuff... and that's what I talk about. Life! And it's good :)

♥ Annie ♥ said...

I find that I go back and forth about this a lot. I don't want to be defined by my connection to the military, but it always makes it's way into my blog here and there. I do like to mix it up though by blogging about my other interests and adventures. It fascinates me how large the MILspouse blogging community is....I think it's great, with the exception of the few who are non-compliant with opsec.

April's Flowers said...

Oh, I like this post. :) Obviously the military is a part of each one of our lives - as we are married to someone serving. BUT - the military doesn't define who I am, or my blog for that matter. The main thing I post about that involves anything military - is that I miss my husband. ..as most people do who are apart from their love bugs. My other enteries are fun, random and somewhat entertaining if you have the same sense of humor as me. :) When I find mili spouse blogs - I usually become faithful readers of those who blog about their everyday lives. Because I'm surrounded by enough military hoopla as it is. ;)

Josie said...

It's so hard NOT to talk about the military part of our lives -- it's the one piece that still feels so foreign to my life -- even WITH a crazy 5-month-old in the house!

I guess the strange thing for me and my husband is we talk about both our jobs a lot, since we do the same thing (lawyer), just one for the Army (him) and one for different clients (me). We talk a lot about our work because it helps us work through issues. And I wish I could share that type of stuff on the blog, but it would violate about a million different ethical rules! So that actually makes blogging tough -- most of the stuff going on in my brain can't go on the blog, which makes me talk about military stuff even MORE!

It's a vicious, awful circle.

Sarah Ann said...

I hardly even mention that I'm a mil. spouse. It's just not something I feel I need to advertise all over the place. Plus since we don't live on base and the base is pretty far away it's not somewhere I go a lot. I've got better things that I think show more of who I am that I can talk about.

Whitney said...

My boyfriend is in the National Guard and a college student. I'm a graduate school student. I hardly ever blog about the military. We don't live on post and probably never will. We haven't went through a deployment. We don't have the "typical" military relationship. He's only gone 1 weekend a month, 2 weeks a year. Plus, my blog is more personal. Basically, what's going on in my life, school, my thoughts, my likes/dislikes, and stuff about my relationship.

The Mrs. in Stilettos said...

I try to blog about everything going on that day/week. Right now our lives are very centered on J and his career so it comes up a lot, but I also blog A LOT about my pregnancy and my boys and everyday life. I try to not overwhelm my posts about military related things but we are in such a transition and I have nowhere else to vent those feelings to others that might offer some advice other than my blog, specially since I have a lot of wives that are married to officers that follow my blog. The ladies that follow me have been amazing and a wealth of info and encouragement! I am sure my blog will be changing a lot as our lives continue to change and there will be a lot of gushing over the new baby soon and hopefully a whole lot more beauty and fashion posts since that is what I studied in college and I love talking about it! I hope I don't bore people with my military talk but I do love the advice I get!

Wife on the Roller Coaster said...

For me, it depends on the day. During my husband's deployment, I wrote about military life a lot but definitely not every day or every post. Now that my husband is home, I'm sure I'll be writing about military life A LOT less. I'm about to go back to work about 6 yrs of being a full time mom, so I'm sure I'll be writing more about that. I guess it just depends what's right in our faces at the moment. Good question!

Laura said...

For now, I blog about my life, and my kids' lives, which are definitely affected by my husband's Navy career. I'm sure more military stuff will come into it at some point, but that's not my focus. I am still an individual. I am not in the Navy myself. I have a life away from the military, and THAT is what my blog is about. I can't focus on military all the time, because that would be very shallow, and not who I am.