Dear God...I never thought I could miss someone so much. I feel like such a baby about it too. I mean, women have done 12 months or 15 months of no husband and I'm complaining about 3 weeks. I just feel so alone though. It doesn't matter how much interaction I have during the day either, at the end of the day I go home to an empty house and it's just Boomer and I.
It makes me wonder how I ever did so well when I was single. I guess it's because I had friends and family in close proximity and they kept me occupied. Maybe also it was you don't miss what you don't have. So..not having a husband that lived with me everyday..then I didn't miss it. Make sense? Ok..maybe not, but it does to me.
I just have this overwhelming since of dread about everything right now. Mainly the deployment is what I'm referring to. I have all these scenarios and questions that run through my mind and I try to tell myself that I can't possibly be the only person who has thought these things, but it makes me feel a bit morbid at times.
You want to know the stupidest fear I have about this whole thing? I worry that something will happen to Sean while he is deployed and he won't love me anymore. Isn't that dumb? But that's a huge fear that I have. Completely unfounded and stupid, but nevertheless it worries me to no end.
I'm really sorry to be a Debbie Downer about all this. I swear I'm still a fun, positive person. I guess the stress and worry is just getting to me.