Working Girl....I wish!

I wish I could say I was a working girl. After being in Louisiana for almost two months I have yet to secure employment. Sean and I kind of had words about that last night. I think he thinks I enjoy being unemployed...that I can spend my days on MySpace and blogging, watching TV and laying around but that's not what I do.


I wish sometimes I could make him see that because of the fact that we have one car it's not so easy to go in search of jobs. During the day he wants to be picked up at lunch, which usually starts around 11:30 and ends around 1:00. Some days he's off work at 3:30, other times around 5:00. So it's hard to play the guessing game of when he wants to be picked up. He mentioned looking for a job in Alexandria which is about an hour away. By the time I left after lunch and made sure I had time to come back it would barely leave me any time to job search! I don't think he realizes that his schedule doesn't leave me time to go out to far places and look for a job.

I've been applying to jobs since about the second week I've been here. Places in Leesville, places on post, government jobs, receptionist jobs....Nothing! One second interview and one phone interview, neither of which panned out. Do I enjoy not working? No, I honestly don't. Before I came here I was working two and three jobs. I enjoyed making a living and I don't want Sean to have to pay for everything. I don't like being at home, just doing housework, cleaning, doing laundry, ironing, cooking and being a glorified taxi service.

I told him I wanted a decent job. I was NOT doing retail or working fast food. I have a college degree and at almost 25 years old I do not want to be working the same job a 16 year old is for the same pay. I'm not trying to sound snobbish by saying that, but after working retail off and on for the past 9 years, I'm done with it. It's so frustrating to have a degree and experience and not even get a receptionist job! That is just embarassing!

I just want to find a decent job. Is that too much to ask?

Failure

I really feel like my self-esteem has taken a nose-dive in the last few weeks.

In all reality I feel like a failure. I told Sean that last night when we were getting ready for bed and he tried to assure me that I was anything but a failure.
My reasons for feeling this way have to do with three issues in my life currently.

1. I have no job, even though I have been looking and interviewing off and on for the past month.

2. I have no friends and I have been living here since the first week of January.

3. I'm not at the weight I want to be at.

All of these things are really starting to get to me. I started crying last night when I was discussing this with Sean. I know that makes him feel bad because he feels like it's his fault because he brought me down here. However, I wouldn't want to be any other place than with him. Being in Oklahoma for five months without him was hard enough even though I did have friends and three jobs.

I want a job so I can get out there and meet people and bring in some money to our household. I hate feeling like I'm not contributing anything. I think I would feel differently if we had children or even if I was taking classes to get my Masters. Don't get me wrong, I do things throughout the day. I do clean and cook and iron and do errands for the both of us, but I want a job. I have a college education and am done with jobs in retail. I've worked retail off and on since I was 16. I'm done with retail for now. I want something that will at least challenge me. Is that so much to ask? Even working on-post for Picerne Military Housing would be a welcome position.

Having no friends is really bothering me too. I don't think I've ever been in a place in my life where I didn't make friends quickly. I keep hearing all these women talk about how close the military families as a community are. I'm sure that's true, but I havent' experienced that at all yet. Even our own neighbors have only said hi a couple of times in passing. No introductions, no inviting us over.....I'm just really craving a female friendship. I need people to relate to. It's so frustrating to me. I feel like the Invisible Girl around here. It's just an awful feeling.

Obviously my weight is a frustration for me right now. Although I am exercising more and eating less I know it's going to take a while to see a lot of results. I want to see immediate results and I know that's just no possible. I'm just ready to start losing the weight and feeling better about myself.

I'm going back to Oklahoma this weekend for a visit and to attend a friend's 25th birthday. I'm hoping maybe some time with friends and family will boost my self-esteem a bit.

Ahh....the weekend

Ah...it's Friday. My favorite time of the week. A whole weekend ahead of me. What to do?

I'm not really sure what Sean and I are up to this weekend. He originally thought he was going to work, but found out today he doesn't, so that's a whole free weekend for us. I think I might be making dinner for Sean and his friend Skeen sometime this weekend, but other than that I'm planless. I'm sure I'll fit some working out and cleaning in there somewhere. It seems as if there's always something to clean around our house.

In the mornings when I'm taking Sean to work he likes to listen to talk radio, it just so happens that in the paticular time slot that I take him to work Dr. Laura is on. So let me ask you this. Does anyone dislike Dr. Laura as much as I do? I find her to be extremely condescending and all around a big know-it-all. Sometimes her advice isn't so bad, but she just comes across as either you take her advice or continue to screw up your life. I don't think she's right all the time and just listening to her aggravates me. As soon as Sean's out of the car I always have to change it just because she irritates me so much.

I had some gumbo today. It was pretty good although I would have liked to have had some shrimp in it. My former roomate Mari made gumbo for us a few years ago and it was probably the most delicious gumbo I've ever had. She had chicken, shrimp and sausage in it. So good....today's gumbo was filling though.

I've been trying out a lot of new recipes lately. The Kraft food magazines that I have been collecting the last few years is where I get the majority of my recipes. They're always so easy and don't have a lot of complicated ingredients to get. Last night I made a pasta dish that was pretty good. A little bit of a tangier sauce would have made it perfect I think. I always love it when Sean cooks though. He's honestly the better cook of the two of us. See....I'm a recipe follower. Sean is more of a instinct type of cook. He just knows when things are ready. I think the things he makes the best are potatoes. Since we've been together he's made a lot of different potato dishes and they are always to die for. If any of you out there ever visits us I recommend that you request him to cook.

I'm still looking for a job. I guess I didn't get the Internet Department Director job at the car lot since they have yet to contact me and he was supposed to make his decision in the middle of this week. I'm ok with that. I just know that by the end of this month I need to be making money. I actually applied for an on-post job yesterday which pretty much is what I've been looking for. It's a Museum Specialist at the museum here and I'd be cataloging items and basically creating an archive. I honestly don't feel qualified for it, but how will I ever learn those specific techniques unless I get a job with a museum? That's why I went ahead and applied for it. The worst they can say is no. I just want to find something soon.

Well....I think I'm out. Hope ya'll have a great weekend!

Frustrations....

This week has been....frustrating, but other than almost wanting to gouge my eyes out yesterday I think I've been holding up fairly well.

See...the main source of frustration for me has been my car registration. It expired the last day of January and since I like to put things off I waited until last Friday to go to the Louisiana DMV with Sean. We thought it would just be easier to get it registered here than in Oklahoma. Well....Friday I needed to have my mom's driver's license number since she is on the title with me, which I did not have. So I took the paperwork home and decided to go back Monday. After waiting about 30 minutes I take all of the paperwork in, she processes it and then tells me to register my car it's going to be $522.00.

My mouth actually dropped open. At the most I was expecting 150.00, but $522.00? You have got to be kidding me! I guess it was because they were taxing it which I think is a load of crap, but whatever. So I call the Oklahoma DMV and see if I can still get it registered there. Since it's still in my Mom's name as well as mine then I can. Whoo.....(Deep sigh of relief) That's only going to cost me $95.00. Which I can certaintly handle.

So....I decide to go get a money order to send. I opt to go to Wal-Mart and get one at the advice of Sean. Those girls there had no idea what I wanted, told me to fill out one form, changed their mind and told me to fill out another and then told me it was my responsibilty to get the receiving code to send it. Uh...can't you look that up?

I basically said screw it and went to the post office, for the second time that day might I add, and had them handle it.

Seriously...at that point the thought of gouging out my eyes was looking pretty appealing.

I made a pretty superb dinner last night. I made a standard favorite of lemon-pepper chicken breasts and then tried a new recipe out of my Kraft Foods magazine. It was red potatos with cream cheese, bell peppers, green onions and some dill. It isn't my favorite, but it was pretty tasty. I also made some strawberry muffins with fresh strawberries inside for breakfast this week. Very delish I might add.

I've been doing pretty well on my healthy eating/working out plan. In fact, since I was weighed at the doctor's office last week I've lost about 2.5 lbs. I'm pretty excited about that. Plus I always feel better when I consistently work out. I'm thinking about giving up pop, but quite honestly a life without cold Dr. Peppers or Pepsis sounds pretty dismal.

In other news, my very good friend Kebi sent me a few pics she took from the wedding so check them out in my pictures!

TGIF? Not really

Today's Friday and I was really looking forward to it. Mainly because Sean has been gone since Tuesday for funeral detail in Mississippi and he was supposed to be back later tonight.

He called me this morning and said they were going to stay in Louisiana tonight because they had a funeral to do tomorrow, so they won't be back until Saturday sometime. I'm disappointed. I was so ready to get to spend some time with him and that went right out the window. Obviously I'm not mad at him or anything, just a little bit sad that I'm going to be starting the weekend on my own.

I should be able to get in some good reading though. I checked out The Great Deluge by Douglas Brinkley from the library the other day and I just love it. I had started reading it last year, but never finished it. Now I started back at the beginning and I'm making good progress through it. If you are interested in Hurricane Katrina at all you should really check it out. It's very in-depth and discusses not only New Orleans, but also the Mississippi Gulf Coast. It also talks about what happened before, during and after the hurricane. It's one of the best non-fiction books I've read lately.

Other than reading I've watched a lot of TV and let me just say in the last year that I didn't have cable, I've sincerely missed all my favorite reality shows. Everytime reruns of America's Next Top Model episodes come on MTV I have to watch. It's pure addiction. Sure I get tired of Tyra Banks having to one-up the girls everytime one of them has a crisis, but my favorite parts are always the photoshoots. I love seeing what their pictures look like. Plus, there's always the mute button to shut up Tyra. I'm really enjoying the Snoop Dogg Fatherhood show on E! also. It's funny to see what he's like with his family. Today's episode involved Snoop Dogg getting some training for his delinquent dogs. Too funny!

I don't want everyone out there to think watching TV and reading is all I do. I have been job searching as well. I actually had an interview at a car delearship yesterday to be their Internet Department Director. The job sounded interesting, but very involved. I also had the corporate office of Picerene Military Housing call me and talk to me about my resume and a job I had applied for on their website. Both jobs have salaries where I would be making more than I have ever made at a job. Needless to say I'm excited about a new job.

So, I'm in the library computer lab right now and there is a small child wailing in here. This child's mother insists on repeatedly telling her child to, " sit back in the chair and be quiet." Alright.....if your child is crying in the LIBRARY then take it outside for the love of GOD!!!! I don't want to hear your child crying for ten minutes just because you want to get on Yahoo Messenger and chat with your hoochies. ARGH! People are so rude.
Well folks, I have a few errands to run so I'm going to jet out of here, have a good weekend!

The Search for Friends

I think one of the hardest things about moving down here with Sean is my lack of friends.

In Oklahoma I was very blessed to have amazing friends that I could confide in or just have a good time with.

Here in Louisiana, besides Sean, I am alone. No friends, no even real acquaintances. The only other people I come in contact with or people in places like the grocery store or our neighborhood center and I'm talking about the people that work there.

I'm so ready for an FRG meeting or something like that where I can actually meet some other women around here. I'm also thinking about taking a kickboxing class in the evenings, so perhaps there will be some other women there too.

I'm lonely and I hate being that way. I'm a very friendly person and have always had friends. It's not hard for me to make them, but so far it's been hard for me to meet them. One of Sean's friend's wives just wants me to hang out with her so I can chauffer her around. She's an ok girl, but she's much younger than me and lives her life in a way that I'm not comfortable with. I don't want poor quality acquaintances, I'm looking for high quality women that I can identify with and share things in common with. I really don't think that's too much to ask in this case.

I do have some good news though. My job searching seems to be going well. I faxed a couple of resumes yesterday and when I did the girl at our Neighborhood Center suggested that I come work for them. She gave me the website for the job application and postings and I applied for three of them last night. I'm hoping that one of them pans out. It would be nice to not have to drive off post everyday.

I'm really trying to soak up the culture down here. I told Sean I was going to buy a King Cake for Mardi Gras. I have some idea of what they are, but I think I need to research them a little bit more. I'm very eager to go to Baton Rouge and New Orleans too. Sean keeps telling me that New Orleans isn't the same since Katrina, but I don't think he understands my need to see these places. I've never been there and so I really want to experience all that Louisiana has to offer. I want to make the most of my time down here. I'm very eager to try some authentic Cajun food and take advantage of all the fresh seafood that is around here. Why not enjoy the places you are stationed to the fullest?

Settling In

Well, I am here at Ft. Polk. Sean and I officially moved in to our home in the North Fort section of post last Friday afternoon. By last Sunday afternoon I had all the boxes unpacked and almost everything put up. Now I'm working on weeding out things that I really don't need. I'm sure sometime this spring we will have to have a garage sale.

I have to say that I'm really enjoying it here. The weather down here so far has been amazing. I can go out in a t-shirt, jeans and flip-flops, that I love! Sean says it's usually cold down here this time of year, so it must be unseasonably warm this year. Oh well, I'm not complaining.

This next week I'm officially starting my job searching. I'm ok with just a part-time job for now. Ideally I would like some sort of government job here on post, but until then I am fine with working as a receptionist or something like that. My next order of business is to sit down with Sean and come up with some sort of budget for us. I still have a lot of paperwork things to do with getting my car registered in Louisiana and things of that nature and sometime I need to fit in a visit to the doctor so I can get some medication that I need. Once I get all of that done I'll feel much better.

Hopefully sometime in the near future I can put up some pictures of our new house. I really like it, it's a cute duplex and we live on a cul-de-sac so we have noone behind us. Just some pretty trees. One of these days I want to maybe do an accent wall in a couple of rooms and maybe some bordering in other rooms. I think it would make it look more cozy inside. Just white walls get boring after awhile.

Well, I need to do some other things in the computer lab before I run to the PX and commissary. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!