Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Question of the Day

This is kind of a personal question, but if you feel comfortable answering it, please do!

After you and your husband were done having children would you expect him to have a vasectomy? Or would you rather go with a method such as birth control pills, tubes tied, IUD, etc?



Have you discussed this?

34 comments:

d.a.r. said...

To be honest, I'm not really sure...I think I am pretty much done with hormonal b.c., so that would rule out continuing on the pill,etc. But we've definitely just never talked about it!

This wife in our old unit would constantly talk (in public, so awkward) about how she had her husband "neutered". It was so...emasculating. Not that a vasectomy is inherently a bad thing, but just the way she talked about it was so...weird.

Diana said...

My husband would get the cords cut because he doesn't like all them fake hormons and neither do I. Once we have decided not to want any more kids, he'll get this done.

J.L.S. said...

More than likely, once we are finished having kids, I'll get a hysterectomy because I have problems with endometriosis. So, it would take kill 2 birds with one stone! If I don't end up doing that, I'm not sure what way we will go. I don't really enjoy having to take hormones, so we would just have to see.

Aimee said...

We've talked about it...we've had a couple family members have it done and said it's not bad at all. It's a horrible process for a woman to go through, and then to have to be on hormone replacement for the rest of your life is just horrible. I'm not able to be on birth control because of blood clots, so it's definitely not out of the question. I agree that it would be emasculating to talk about it in public, I would never tell someone my husband had that done, but it's not a bad thing to have it done. It's responsible and safe if you are done having children.

Expat Girl said...

To be honest we haven't even talked about but this has definitely made me think!

Sara said...

I think when we're pretty sure we're done we'll spend a year or two with me on Mirena, assuming it works out after baby boy is born. But once we're sure we're done I think I'd like him to do something permanent. Its so much easier for the guys to get that done so hopefully he'll be open minded to it.

But I won't be advertising as DAR said. That's personal about my husband.

Marine and Beauty Queen said...

Well I'm not there yet, but I don't think I'd ask him to have a vasectomy. If he wanted to, okay, but if not then oh well. I'm more than okay with taking birth control and have for many years.

BryceandWhit said...

Me and my husband have talked about it...If my last child is a c section then my tubes will get tied and if I have it nauteral then he we get fixed... I guess it just works for who ever... We just thought that it doesnt make since for him to get surgery when im already under...

Loving Wife said...

Hubs and I have discussed it a few times. He has offered to have it done since it's less invasive as me having something done.

I don't really want to be on the pill for the rest of my life, and not sure how I feel about and IUD.

The Undomestic Army Wife said...

Im pregnant with twins and my husband already has 2 kids from his previous marriage. Once the twins are born, he will be getting a vasectomy. He is done having kids. We can't afford more than the 4 we have. I don't want to be on birth control for the rest of my life so it just seemed like the perfect option for us. And it was his idea. Not mine. And I am ok with the situation. Long before we were married, we discussed kids and both agreed that we would just have 2. And if something were to ever happen to us, he doesn't want anymore.

*Jenn* said...

We have talked about it, and the idea of "getting neutered" scares the crap out of him! lol So, we will just have to figure out the right decision when that time comes. :)

Kasey said...

Yes, he will be getting this done.

And honestly, it is his idea. He says that since I am the one giving birth to our children that the least he could do is get snipped, lol.

We are pretty sure we are done but we are going to wait a few more years since we are still pretty young.

Young Mom/Wife said...

I have heard several wives in my husbands squadron discuss how they told their husbands they had to get snipped. Well, the only issue is that you still have to wait a while before you won't get pregnant even with a vasectomy...

We haven't really discussed surgeries to make sure there are no more kids. I think we would go with other options, but we haven't fully discussed it because well we are still open to having more kids at the moment.

Gaile said...

we've talked about this, and if we decide to do surgery, it will be HIM going under the knife, not me! Mostly because he has someone to take care of him during recovery (ME!) and I really don't. Not that he wouldn't try, he just doesn't know how.
:)
However, we are having our fourth baby, a little late in life in my opinion (I just turned 36) and we still aren't SURE we're done after this one. I will be going back on the pill after this baby comes, and I honestly don't mind the pill now (ever since I found Seasonale - hello! 4 periods a year instead of 12?! SIGN ME UP!) I think they're calling it Seasonique now - unless its a competing product? - but I took Seasonale for about 4 years before going off the pill to get pregnant. And we got pregnant pretty much right away when we started trying, so I am happy with that.

Amber said...

he will be getting snipped

The Kellys said...

In a few years Tim plans on having a vasectomy. If we ever did decide to add to our family we would go the adoption route. This last pregnancy was really hard on me so I don't ever want to be pregnant again.

I think I'm still going to get back on birth control just for the simple fact that my mood swings are insane! Birth control definitely helps me out on that.

Jenn B said...

We are actually waiting for his appointment as I type. Here there are guidelines as to when you can have it done, but the last one he had to meet was the youngest kid has to be 6 months. With school, he just hasn't had a chance til now. We knew we wanted 2 and then we'd be done. I have never done well with hormones and I tried Mirena and absolutely hated it. So, it's the good ole snip snip. Random story...his grandfather had it done when it was illegal to have it done in the Army. They went to his wife's doctor and they did the procedure. Had he been "caught", he could have been discharged. Thankfully, they never found out and he retired with only the 2 kids they wanted.

Full of Heart said...

SB has already said he'll get the ol' snip snip. He said that right off the bat in our relationship which makes the decision really easy!

Ashley said...

Amazingly, I didnt have to worry about which route we would take. Husband said he would "volunteer" to get snipped after children. After all -- its easy day surgery for men!

He now worries slightly, knowing I was a vasectomy baby, but still wants to go through with it. Its a ways off for us though -- we just had baby#1, and *I* want two more, each spaced 3 years apart, although hubby only wants one more!

Emily @ Longley's in San Diego said...

I think i'm with a few ladies, makes you think! We can't even decide when we want to have kids so knowning when were done and who's gonna be getting the work done... who knows ha. Although it's much easier for a guy to go get it taken care of than a women. I worked with a guy who had a vesectomy. He only took one day off work and was just in some pain and had to sit carefully on his donut (we did night stocking at staples so it wasn't an easy job).

Hannah said...

We plan on getting me an IUD. Only because we don't want to do anything more extreme and then later regret it.
My parents went the more extreme route with birth control and a few years later very much regretted it. So I just don't want that to happen with us.

JG said...

Wow. I honestly haven't even thought about this. I guess in the long run a vasectomy makes more sense economically. But I have no idea. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it!

JG said...

Oh, and I just want to echo what some of the other girls said - definitely no "advertising" either way. I hate when people do that (on both sides, either announcing they are "trying" or that they are "stopping."). Really, it's nobody else's business, is it?

Adam and Shanna Family Blog said...

My husband very openly will say he'll get a vasectomy the second we have our second child and we know he/she is ok... I appreciate that as a woman not having to take bc or deal with that anymore... would be nice. Besides, it's really a simple procedure for men, and I don't think it's emasculating at all to a man who is secure! :)

Mallory said...

My husband and I have actually talked about this since we don't want any children at all. He is going to get a vasectomy at some point. He is totally fine with and all for it. Right now I have an IUD but we will probably get him snipped before I have this one taken out.

Annie said...

my fiance and i have actually never discussed this.
i want to pop out 4 kids first....so we have a while to figure things out! haha!! really though, i'm up for any options....i think ;)

p.s. new follower!! seems like you have a fun blog!

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I think if I knew I was done having kids that I would definitely be open to this and having it be discussed. I mean if you know you don't want anymore kids why not...

Leah said...

well...i cannot put in my thoughts on this seeing as i'm not married.

but! the picture is hilarious =)

Alison said...

I can't say we have talked about this bc at 27 - we are only pregnant with our first. However, I work in the operating room and every week I see men getting their vasectomies reversed and women trying to get their tubes reconnected...it's made me think - what's right for right now might not be right a few years later.

I love this question though! It REALLY got me thinking and I love all the different answers!!! :-)

Lola said...

A vasectomy and tubal ligation are so final ~ and if I have learned anything going through a divorce after 19 years together it is that nothing is certain.

We chose to use an IUD ~ it is no longer the scary bad rep of the past ~ it is as effective as pills without the hormonal side effects. We thought we were "done" after two ~ decided 2 years later to try again for a girl and were pregnant in a month ~ so clearly it also doesn't inhibit your ability to change your mind, whatever the reason may be.

You just never know ~ you may be "done" with this husband but the fates may take you on a different path and you may wish to change your minds later.

Caitlin said...

No, I would definately not expect that. I wouldn't want to get my tubes tied or anything, why would I ask him to do that?


We used other forms of birth control for this long, we can do it then too.

Scatterbrain said...

I think when the time comes, I'll go with an IUD.. I wouldnt want to take a more permanent route either for me or him.

Amy said...

I'm a little late weighing in on this question but...my husband WANTS to have the vasectomy. Even though we have three kids I'm not 100% positive that I'll never want another - so we've gone the IUD approach....

Clarissa said...

Sterilization is such a personal thing. I don't like to see one partner pressure the other.

My husband did get it done after our fourth child. I didn't feel strongly enough about being absolutely done to have myself sterilized, but he felt he'd reached his limit, so he took measures to be sure.

And I totally respect that.

And yes, if I had a dollar for every couple I know who has had some regrets about sterilization in a divorce/remarriage situation, I could probably afford a pretty nice dinner out. ;) Don't do it to placate a spouse.

Do it because that's what YOU want for YOURSELF.