Ok ladies, in this post I'm going to be perfectly candid and honest with you. Normally I try to keep things personal, but at a certain distance, but I'm laying it all out for you in this post.
A few weeks ago I blogged about how I was tired of getting on the scale and being disappointed by the numbers and how I wasn't going to do that anymore. I'm happy to say since then I've only gotten on the scale maybe twice. It's hard to break that habit. I have been going to the gym more, my goal is four days a week and if I do it more than that, then great.
However, I had a gym failure the other day and felt so frustrated that I honestly wanted to just cry. In the gym. In front of people.
As a little backstory, I started doing Crossfit this past summer and really enjoyed it. I started seeing results quickly and could tell I was becoming stronger. Then around September the class time changed to a time that was too late in the day for me and I hurt my back doing deadlifts. It was my fault that the injury happened, as I hadn't warmed up enough and I knew it, but I wanted to see how much I could lift and ended up hurting my back. Thankfully when I had it checked out it turned out to only be a pulled muscle, but I foolishly didn't realize how long a pulled muscle in the back could take to heal. I also discovered that one of my legs is slightly shorter than the other, which my Crossfit trainer had actually pointed out the very day I got hurt and the physical therapist and doctors think that contributed to me getting hurt. Anyway, my back still hurts on occasion and for several months after that I rarely did Crossfit and got into a not working out funk.
Fast forward to last week and I started doing Crossfit again. I went to the lunchtime class and was very disappointed with it. Not because our trainer isn't awesome, because he is, but because I felt like an outsider with the rest of the group. Not one of them talked to me, except our trainer (who I'm friends with in real life and on Facebook). None of my friends from the previous class go to this lunchtime class, so I have nobody that I know and it's just very awkward. Not to mention all these people can do everything so much better than me. I am not a natural athlete and I have not done anything really physically demanding in awhile, so that already puts me behind these others, but it was just down right embarassing. Every skill that we worked on that day I could barely do.
The next day I emailed my friend/trainer and asked him what I could do to improve, because I just felt like I wasn't strong enough to do these moves and I needed some help. So now, he's put me and one of my friends from the previous class, on a strength building program and told us we also need to do Crossfit regularly to help build our skills. Here's the problem, I don't like the lunch class because I feel so alone in there, so I'm thinking about doing the workouts on my own. Plus, as much as I like Crossfit, I don't feel like it's the be-all, end-all of workouts. I like doing yoga, and spinning and dance stuff too. Plus I need to fit building up my running on the Couch to 5K program in there too. I just feel like there is so much stuff I need to do and so little time to do it. I don't want to burn out or hurt myself, but I want to get in shape. Now I'm to the point where I almost feel overwhelmed and I don't even know where to start.