Tuesday, September 20, 2011

An Announcement

To start things off, let me say that I will be discussing our trip to Denmark this week, but I've been trying to decide over the last few weeks when would be an appropriate time to discuss what's going on in my world and I thought there was no time like the present to discuss it.

Before you guys get all excited thinking I'm pregnant, I'm not. That's not the announcement, although I hope in the next year that I will be sharing news like that, but it's just not in the cards right now and in this blog I'll tell you why.

Some of you probably remember my post several months ago about Sean visiting the doctors in Germany about his back and how they recommended he be medboarded. I was terrified about that at the time and couldn't imagine how different my life would be as someone whose spouse was no longer affiliated with the Army.

Well, a few months have passed and there have been some new developments in the situation. The option of surgery was offered to Sean. He discussed it with several of his doctors, both in Germany and here in Italy and he decided not to do the surgery. Basically we both felt that the risks of the surgery far outweighed anything that could have been gained by having the surgery done. None of the doctors that Sean talked to felt that the specific issues Sean has with his back would be helped by having surgery and most of them felt like it would further limit his mobility, which is not something either of us wanted.

So, after some thought, Sean decided against trying to re-class and instead he is going to try to medically retire from the Army. We will be moving back to Oklahoma, hopefully to the largest city near to where we grew up and Sean will be attending college while I go back to work and hopefully have my photography business on the side. We also plan on buying a house and hopefully starting a family too.

I've actually known we were going to do this for the last few months and I've already been looking at the housing/job market in the city where we will be moving.  I didn't want to share anything on the blog, because quite frankly I didn't know the timeline of when we would be leaving Italy and going back to the States. I actually still don't know, as Sean is still going to doctor's appointments in Germany and has not yet put in his packet for this medical retirement/VA evaluation. We were slated to leave Italy in January 2012, but it appears we will be here longer. Sean is estimating we will leave here in late spring and I have to admit I have mixed feelings about it.

1. I want to have a baby. Like now. However, I don't want to have one in the middle of us moving from Italy, trying to buy a house, trying to find jobs, etc. That's just too many things for me to handle at one time.

2. I miss my family and friends a lot and I'm missing a lot of things at home, including weddings of several friends. I want to be home in time to attend, but there is a chance I might not. It's missing things like that, that make me wish I was back in the States.

3. The plus side of staying longer in Italy is more travel! Instead of leaving in 3 months, I have a bit longer to see some of the places I so desperately want to see.

4. I feel like our lives are kind of on hold right now. I can't do anything with my photography, except build up my portfolio, we can't buy a house yet and there are just a million other things I feel like we can't do yet..because it's not the right time being overseas.

So...now you guys know a bit more of what's been going on with us and why I have been more silent than usual the past few months. There are just so many mixed emotions with this whole process.

21 comments:

Jessica Lynn said...

My thoughts are with you. I know all too well about the wanting to have a baby right this very minute, but having to wait (I'm with you- being pregnant with this move was something I tried really hard to avoid). I hope everything works out well and with as little stress as possible.

P.S. I'm slightly happy you'll be there longer, since that means we'll have a better opportunity to meet!!!

The Kellys said...

Am I right in assuming you'll almost be my neighbor?! So exciting!!!

tootie said...

I know the next few months probably won't be easy, but I know that great things await you! In the meantime, I look forward to hearing about you travels, and I can't wait to hear about your photography business one day! My thoughts will be with you!

Jessica said...

We are kind of in that same situation, although we are here in the states. I hope that everything works out and doesn't stress you out too much!

d.a.r. said...

Wow, I cannot even imagine the craziness that all of this is causing. Fingers crossed for a smooth transition for you.

Angela Noelle said...

I can certainly understand your mixed emotions. I'm glad that you're getting more time to travel, and that is sounds as though you and Sean have found peace with your decision. Best of luck to you both as all of these changes and upheavals take place.

JG said...

Goodness, must be the day for major life announcements. That's quite a change for you guys, but it sounds like you're taking it head-on. I hope everything works out smoothly!

Waiting to get pregnant when you were ready like a year ago sucks, especially when ev.ry.one. else is pregnant. I just keep telling myself it'll make it that much better when it does happen.

Mom in High Heels said...

I've been wondering where you've been. Wow. What a scary, but exciting time. I hope things work out for you guys.
We're supposed to PCS in 31 days and have no orders. Granted, we are moving within Germany (just an hour north), but still, it would be nice to have some orders. Sigh.

loquita said...

OMG EVERYONE IS PREGNANT! It is selfish I am glad that there are other friends out there who have to wait too? Also, I laughed out loud at the second paragraph where you specifically rule out the possibility that your post is a pregnancy announcement. :)

I have a tentative plan that I want to travel to Texas and visit all my friends out there at some point in the next year -- maybe that can include you and Sara if I also head a bit north? That would so rock my socks. :)

Good luck with everything, and another plus -- you can keep going with your CrossFit group a bit longer, in addition to more travels. :-D

Prim said...

Good luck!!! Enjoy your time left in Italy--I miss the pizza (oh der platz, I miss you so) and gelato. Travel, travel, travel and keep building that portfolio!

merciespermile.com said...

Despite the stability of the military, there's so much uncertainty, like what you're talking about. I hope things start working out for you guys!

Jessica said...

Wow! That's a huge change coming y'alls way! I think it will be good though. You've been so lucky to have the opportunity of living overseas. Now you can bring it on home and be there for the things that matter to you. I'm looking forward to seeing this new chapter!

Abbie said...

I can't imagine how stressed you must be feeling right now. I know when I get overwhelmed, I make a list (kind of like you've done) and somehow, seeing it all in front of me, makes me feel less crazy.

I hope things work out for you both:)

Melody said...

Hang in there. You know sometimes you're on hold on the phone, and you manage to get some little thing (or two) done while you're waiting? You'll get those little things done, and it won't take any more time than you would have spent, anyway. Blessings on your "hold time" and all the changes to come!!

michelledoesgermany.com said...

My husband had back surgery after being injured in Afghanistan. He has 3 huge rods in his back because he had 4 crushed discs. They have tried to med board him out several times but he has always fought the process but now, with his bad hearing, it might become a reality. It's a scary time full of unknowns but we are hoping it doesn't come to that. I'm not sure he would know who he was without putting on his uniform everyday!

Sarah said...

I hope things go smoothly and quickly for you guys, and that you'll be home in the states starting your new chapter in life before you know it! I know how you feel, being on hold, that's how I felt before our recent PCS. Just try to enjoy your remaining time in Italy, taking in the sights and just enjoying the daily grind, it won't be something you'll ever be able to experience again (as I am guessing you don't plan on living in Italy again). Best of luck!

Mira said...

Melissa, I feel your pain. We were supposed to leave Italy in February this year but because of a similar issue we are stuck here and getting ready to retire after 18 years of service. If you need someone to talk, I am here. :) I've send you an email, too.

Kebi Cedawna said...

I am so excited for you guys to be back home.
Melissa, you have proven time and time again how strong of a woman you are and I have no doubt that you'll pass through all the adjustments with flying colors.
I am sooo, looking forward to you guys being back home though :)

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

The waiting game is rough but at least you've got a game plan for when you get back to the US!

Andrea@Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

I'm excited for this new chapter in your life!

❈ Annie - Blonde Glambition ❈ said...

These are some serious changes coming up for you, so I would say having mixed emotions is to be expected and healthy. i think you have taken a great approach making the most of your extra time in Europe, although I do understand that waiting for the things you want most sucks.

Btw...I know it's selfish of me, but I'm really excited that you'll be there through the spring!