Insecurities

I'm sure many of you out there struggle with insecurities like I do. I constantly struggle not to compare myself to other people, not just physically, but in other aspects too. She's a better cook than me, she's smarter than me, she speaks 3 languages fluently, etc. I hate that I do it, but I do and I don't know that it's improving.

The thing that sets me off is that people that are close to me know this about me. They know I'm insecure, they know what triggers me to feel that way yet they continue to say things that they know push my buttons and make the whole insecurity issue rear it's ugly head. I mean seriously? Is it that hard if you really think those thoughts just to keep them to yourself?

Is that too much to ask?



Sorry for the total Debbie Downer post ladies, I'm a bit more emotional than usual because it's that time of the month.

Sunshine and rainbows returning tomorrow!

Insecurities....

Before I begin this post I want to let everyone out there know that I am NOT looking for sympathy or even reassurance, this is just something on my mind today and well...almost everyday and today is the day I need to get it out.

Some of my longtime readers may remember me talking about my struggle with my weight. As I've said before I have NEVER been a skinny girl. I'm short, 5'4", but I am not what many people consider to be the typical short girl.

If you want a mental image of what my body is similiar to then think of Kim Kardashian, minus the large chest. I have a butt and wider hips, though I am small through my top and waist. This makes me look almost out of proportion sometimes, at least in my mind.

Right after I moved to Fort Polk I was overweight and a doctor called me on it. I had gained about twenty pounds since high school and knew something had to change. Motivated by that humiliation and the realization I needed to lose weight before it got out of control I lost 20 lbs. Ideally I'd like to lose about another 10, which would put me at about 132. I know each and every body is different, but sometimes I feel so bad when I see all these other girls my height or taller that weigh so much less than me.

Realistically I know I should concentrate on my weight and what's best for my body, but it's so hard not to compare yourself to others. At least it is for me.

I just wish for once I could be totally happy with the way I look and not compare myself constantly!