The One in Which I Vent

I'm sure lately you've picked up on a couple of themes in my recent blog posts.

1. I have baby fever
2. I miss my friends and family and want to go home

Now before anyone assumes that the second point means I hate Italy and am ungrateful being here, that's not the case. I do really enjoy Italy and all the travel opportunities I've had living here, but three years is a long time to be away from your friends and family. At least for me it is. I've gotten to go home twice since we've been here and although that was nice, twice is not enough time to truly get to spend with everyone you love. I'm close to my family (even my extended family) and I miss them terribly. Especially around any holiday. Sean doesn't quite understand how close I am to my family because he is not close to his family at all. He doesn't have a good relationship with his parents, so his cousins and grandmother are about the only family he talks to. So, when I talk about missing my family and wanting to go home, he doesn't really understand.

I also have baby fever really, really badly. Up until the last six months, the idea of a baby was there, but it wasn't something I really wanted. I had a lot of traveling and experiences I wanted to do and quite frankly I didn't want to be pregnant in a foreign country away from those I love. It's not that I don't think I could do it, it's just that I don't want to do it. Again, this is another thing that Sean doesn't really understand. We both want children, but he doesn't feel the need to have them this very second, like I do. When your spouse doesn't understand what you're going through, it's tough. Even though he tries to reassure me or make me feel better, it's not enough. I still feel lonely, because he just doesn't have the need that I do.

 Lately, when I find out a friend is pregnant, I cry. The last time I thought I might be pregnant and then found out I wasn't, I sobbed. I don't do this. In fact, I've NEVER done that in my life. So, for me to be that upset over not having a baby, it's a new set of emotions for me.

I hate when I try to explain how I'm feeling and someone tells me to, "Make the best of it." Seriously? That's the best advice you can come up with? A sympathetic word or two would have been a lot better than, "Make the best of it". I'm also tired of being referred to as "my only non-pregnant friend". Gee...could you twist the knife in any deeper? I think sometimes people just don't understand that although I'm a light-hearted person, that their words really do hurt.

Babies on the Brain

Wow...I've been reading post after post lately about how people are pregnant.

I'm not jealous, in fact I'm very happy for everyone. Seems like there is a baby boom going on in the blog world right now.

Honestly, in my heart I don't feel like it's time for a baby for Sean and I yet. I really don't. Six months from now? Maybe. Year from now? Perhaps.

We are a little hesitant on when to start trying.

Do we start trying before a deployment? Just in case (Something I don't want to even think about)

Or do we start after?

Just because I'm not ready doesn't mean on days like this I don't want to have a baby really badly.

*sigh*

All in good time.

Battalion Picnic and Babies

Wow! Looks like everyone loved the sweater dress as much as I did! Thank you to everyone that responded to what color and style of shoes I should wear with it too. You guys were a huge help! I know who to come to now when I have a fashion question.

I do have another question for all of you out there. Maybe you can help.

I like to pull my hair back like this:



I don't know what it's called, but the little hair bump, whatever. Anyway, as much as I try to get it right, it never turns out like I see other people's hair turn out. It's got a slight bump to it where the hair isn't laying like it should or something along those lines. What am I not doing right? Is it my bobby pin placement? do I need to spray my hair before doing it? Any suggestions?

Last night ended up being pretty fun. I didn't get to watch Survivor as planned, but I did go to Sean's Battalion picnic and awards ceremony. As I had mentioned they had squad competition this entire week and last night was the wrap-up of it. Everyone was there and it was neat getting to see the entire battalion and their familes, although as usual, I was reminded of the fact that I appear to be the ONLY married woman who is not pregnant or has a child. It's a weird feeling actually to look around and realize that.

Of course, people had to naturally ask us (AGAIN) when we were going to have children. I finally just told them that neither of us were ready and that quite honestly I wanted to tour Europe for awhile without a child.

This is their response: "Why can't you tour with your baby?"

Me: "Because touring Europe with a baby is drastically different than touring Europe solo"

Maybe because they are men they don't quite understand? I'm not sure. At any rate I let it be well known that I'm not ready for a child just yet. Don't get me wrong, I love babies, I love holding our friends babies and I really want children...just not at the present moment. I am tired of people assuming that because I'm 25 I'm getting up there and should start immediately. 25 is not old! My own mother didn't have me until she was almost 28, I wish people would give it a rest.

Anyway, other than that it was a good time. Here are a couple of pictures from it.



That's Sean and his friend Robert.




This is Sean's, I'm tired and want to go home NOW face.

This weekend I am:

1. Cheering on my Oklahoma State Cowboys against Missouri. I'm really hoping we can pull out a win.
2. Going out to dinner with two other couples to a new restaurant in a neighboring town. Should be a good time.
3. Steam cleaning my carpets and extensively cleaning my home.
4. Going with a friend to her husband's welcome home ceremony (he's returning from being deployed) to take pictures of her and him.
5. Working out
6. Making my grandma's delish banana pudding. It's the recipe she uses for her basic pie fillings, you just use a little less flour for the pudding.

Here it is:

8-9 T. flour (9 for pie filling-- 7 for pudding) That's what I use.
3/4 + C. sugar (1-2 tsp. over 3/4)
2 C. milk
2 egg yolks
2 caps (2 tsp.) vanilla

1.Mix sugar & flour together; add eggs & milk & vanilla; beat with a jiffy beater until smooth
2.bring this to a boil (hard boil--lots of bubbles all over surface) STIRRING FAST CONSTANTLY with wooden spoon until thick.
3.Take off heat and stir to cool slightly
4.If making banana filling cool until only warm then cut 2 bananas into pudding.

It's delicious! My Grandma makes the best pies, I kid you not. She's famous for her pies back home and has people all the time putting in orders for her pies.

Weekend plans everyone?

Trying out the new camera

Yesterday I babysat one of our friend's children and I had the opportunity to play around some with my new camera.

Here are a few results.




The above picture is my favorite that I took, but please ignore the dog carrier in the background. I've been trying to find away to increase the shadows to make it disappear, but have yet to succeed without making the rest of the picture too dark. I don't have Photoshop, so that's not an option, but if anyone else has a suggestion please let me know!



I love this one too, if you look closely you can see everything but his eye is black and white. I love some of the tools in Photobucket.



I love sleeping babies!




As you might have noticed, I prefer black and white pictures when I'm photographing people/things.

I'll be updating on the rest of the weekend hopefully later tonight.

Weekend Plans?

It's Friday! I can't think of a better way to celebrate then sitting back and having a few Margaritas. OK technically I can't do that until after I'm off work, but the thought is nice. Actually, even when I'm off work I won't have any Margaritas. I very rarely drink now. I'm not a fan of the calories that come with those tasty little concoctions! Although I will bend sometimes and have a White Russian. Now those are tasty.

Anyway, my jaw is killing me today. I think the culprit might be those pesky wisdom teeth of mine that haven't come out yet. I'm just dreading having that whole procedure done. For starters, I hate the dentist. My dentist back home was the nicest man, but I just hate going. I'll confess something, I have weak teeth. Which translates into me having extensive work always being done. When my mom told me she'd rather go through the pain of childbirth then get her wisdom teeth taken out again, I knew I'd be in for some pain. So, I've been putting it off, but I really do need to take care of it before we move, if that does happen.

I'm excited about this weekend. We don't have anything big going on, but some friends of ours, the Darlings, are dropping their baby off with us for a couple of hours on Saturday. I volunteered to do this the other day because I think couples need some time off from their babies from time to time and I enjoy taking care of babies, so it's a great plan!

Time for some cute winter clothes! Here are a couple of things that I like from where else, but Forever 21!



I like the cheeriness of the coat, it's so vibrant!



This looks comfy and classy at the same time.

So what does everyone have planned for the weekend? Any fun plans?