TGIF? Not really

Today's Friday and I was really looking forward to it. Mainly because Sean has been gone since Tuesday for funeral detail in Mississippi and he was supposed to be back later tonight.

He called me this morning and said they were going to stay in Louisiana tonight because they had a funeral to do tomorrow, so they won't be back until Saturday sometime. I'm disappointed. I was so ready to get to spend some time with him and that went right out the window. Obviously I'm not mad at him or anything, just a little bit sad that I'm going to be starting the weekend on my own.

I should be able to get in some good reading though. I checked out The Great Deluge by Douglas Brinkley from the library the other day and I just love it. I had started reading it last year, but never finished it. Now I started back at the beginning and I'm making good progress through it. If you are interested in Hurricane Katrina at all you should really check it out. It's very in-depth and discusses not only New Orleans, but also the Mississippi Gulf Coast. It also talks about what happened before, during and after the hurricane. It's one of the best non-fiction books I've read lately.

Other than reading I've watched a lot of TV and let me just say in the last year that I didn't have cable, I've sincerely missed all my favorite reality shows. Everytime reruns of America's Next Top Model episodes come on MTV I have to watch. It's pure addiction. Sure I get tired of Tyra Banks having to one-up the girls everytime one of them has a crisis, but my favorite parts are always the photoshoots. I love seeing what their pictures look like. Plus, there's always the mute button to shut up Tyra. I'm really enjoying the Snoop Dogg Fatherhood show on E! also. It's funny to see what he's like with his family. Today's episode involved Snoop Dogg getting some training for his delinquent dogs. Too funny!

I don't want everyone out there to think watching TV and reading is all I do. I have been job searching as well. I actually had an interview at a car delearship yesterday to be their Internet Department Director. The job sounded interesting, but very involved. I also had the corporate office of Picerene Military Housing call me and talk to me about my resume and a job I had applied for on their website. Both jobs have salaries where I would be making more than I have ever made at a job. Needless to say I'm excited about a new job.

So, I'm in the library computer lab right now and there is a small child wailing in here. This child's mother insists on repeatedly telling her child to, " sit back in the chair and be quiet." Alright.....if your child is crying in the LIBRARY then take it outside for the love of GOD!!!! I don't want to hear your child crying for ten minutes just because you want to get on Yahoo Messenger and chat with your hoochies. ARGH! People are so rude.
Well folks, I have a few errands to run so I'm going to jet out of here, have a good weekend!

The Search for Friends

I think one of the hardest things about moving down here with Sean is my lack of friends.

In Oklahoma I was very blessed to have amazing friends that I could confide in or just have a good time with.

Here in Louisiana, besides Sean, I am alone. No friends, no even real acquaintances. The only other people I come in contact with or people in places like the grocery store or our neighborhood center and I'm talking about the people that work there.

I'm so ready for an FRG meeting or something like that where I can actually meet some other women around here. I'm also thinking about taking a kickboxing class in the evenings, so perhaps there will be some other women there too.

I'm lonely and I hate being that way. I'm a very friendly person and have always had friends. It's not hard for me to make them, but so far it's been hard for me to meet them. One of Sean's friend's wives just wants me to hang out with her so I can chauffer her around. She's an ok girl, but she's much younger than me and lives her life in a way that I'm not comfortable with. I don't want poor quality acquaintances, I'm looking for high quality women that I can identify with and share things in common with. I really don't think that's too much to ask in this case.

I do have some good news though. My job searching seems to be going well. I faxed a couple of resumes yesterday and when I did the girl at our Neighborhood Center suggested that I come work for them. She gave me the website for the job application and postings and I applied for three of them last night. I'm hoping that one of them pans out. It would be nice to not have to drive off post everyday.

I'm really trying to soak up the culture down here. I told Sean I was going to buy a King Cake for Mardi Gras. I have some idea of what they are, but I think I need to research them a little bit more. I'm very eager to go to Baton Rouge and New Orleans too. Sean keeps telling me that New Orleans isn't the same since Katrina, but I don't think he understands my need to see these places. I've never been there and so I really want to experience all that Louisiana has to offer. I want to make the most of my time down here. I'm very eager to try some authentic Cajun food and take advantage of all the fresh seafood that is around here. Why not enjoy the places you are stationed to the fullest?

Settling In

Well, I am here at Ft. Polk. Sean and I officially moved in to our home in the North Fort section of post last Friday afternoon. By last Sunday afternoon I had all the boxes unpacked and almost everything put up. Now I'm working on weeding out things that I really don't need. I'm sure sometime this spring we will have to have a garage sale.

I have to say that I'm really enjoying it here. The weather down here so far has been amazing. I can go out in a t-shirt, jeans and flip-flops, that I love! Sean says it's usually cold down here this time of year, so it must be unseasonably warm this year. Oh well, I'm not complaining.

This next week I'm officially starting my job searching. I'm ok with just a part-time job for now. Ideally I would like some sort of government job here on post, but until then I am fine with working as a receptionist or something like that. My next order of business is to sit down with Sean and come up with some sort of budget for us. I still have a lot of paperwork things to do with getting my car registered in Louisiana and things of that nature and sometime I need to fit in a visit to the doctor so I can get some medication that I need. Once I get all of that done I'll feel much better.

Hopefully sometime in the near future I can put up some pictures of our new house. I really like it, it's a cute duplex and we live on a cul-de-sac so we have noone behind us. Just some pretty trees. One of these days I want to maybe do an accent wall in a couple of rooms and maybe some bordering in other rooms. I think it would make it look more cozy inside. Just white walls get boring after awhile.

Well, I need to do some other things in the computer lab before I run to the PX and commissary. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Crunch Time

It's getting down the last days before my wedding, well techincally my second wedding. I obviously count the first since I consider July 5th to be my anniversary, but this one is more of the actual ceremony.

Anyway, while I was at work today I made a list of everything I still had to pay for and buy for this wedding and it really worried me. Sean and I are pretty low on money. We are young, newly married and neither of us makes that much money. Christmas is just around the corner and we still have people to buy for, plus move and do this whole wedding thing.

For a wedding we are still coming in relatively cheap. Under $2500 is my guess and that just amazes me with everything we are doing.

I know it will all work out wonderfully and the day will be so special for Sean and I and all the special people that are going to share it with us. I'm just a worrier and so I worry about the details of my life.

Tonight is my last night to work at the library. The staff got me a going away card and cake. I'm not shedding any tears though, even though I will miss my co-workers. I know the waterworks won't start until I say goodbye to my close friends and family. What makes it all worthwhile though will be the fact that I'm finally going to be able to live with Sean. Five months of being married and not even being able to live together is trying. We've certaintly had our share of tough times in the months we've been apart.

I'm so excited to start out life together, but also very nervous. I know it's going to be an adjustment for the both of us, just like it is with every married couple. I just want to enjoy each day that we are together and grow closer as a couple.

I think before the wedding I may sit down and write him a letter of everything I hope and want for us. Then maybe I should give it to him on our first anniversary this July. To see how far we've come in those few months.

I am more than ready for this new adventure in my life. Bring it on!

A disagreement

I'm having a bad day today. I just need to get my frustrations out. I'm stressed out right now. Christmas, wedding and moving all in one month will do that to you. I still have bills to pay and preparations to make.

To top all of that off I really haven't gotten to talk to Sean much this week. I've missed him a lot and just been sad about being apart, even though I know it's only about 12 days until I see him again.

Today he and I are having a disagreement about a situation that is hurtful to me. He won't compromise on this situation though, he keeps telling me to trust him, trust him. It's not an issue of trust with me. Obviously I trust him since we've been living 9 hours apart for the last 5 months since we've been married. I want him to stop this particular situation that is hurting me immediately! The fact that he won't hurts me a lot. More than I've ever been hurt by another person.

I think that's why marriage is sometimes so scary to me. Because there are so many wonderful moments that you share with your spouse, but who can hurt you more than they can? No one can. I compromise a lot in my marriage, which I know is what married couples do. In this situation though I'm not. There is simply NO compromise in this particular instance. It's either one way or another and if Sean doesn't do that, then I don't know what is going to happen to us.

Obviously divorce is not an option for me, I married this person for better or for worse, I'm not giving up on him or us. I just wish sometimes he would recognize how selfish he can be and try to work on that. I know I have things to work on myself and I am trying to do my best. I have setbacks every once in awhile and I know I am not perfect. I still have a lot of growing up to do, but so does he and sometimes I feel like I'm tired of giving in.

Is there such a thing as a Bridesmaidzilla?

Let me start off by saying that I do love and adore my good friend/roomate Gina. She is a wonderful friend to me and is such a giving person.

However.....

She is driving me nuts about my upcoming wedding! There have been several times where I have had to bite my tongue in order not to say something rude to her. I do not like feeling this way towards any friend of mine.


The problem is that with almost everything I pick out with the wedding Gina has an issue with. Even my own engagement ring! I would say I would like something and she would wrinkle her nose and just give me a look.


The look said it all! "I don't like that and I don't understand why you do either."

It's gone that way for almost everything. I just don't feel like I need to justify to her why I am choosing the things that I am for my wedding. I don't mean to sound like a Bridezilla here, but it is Sean and I's wedding. Not Gina's! I am glad she is a bridesmaid, but I think she should save her opinions and her choices for her own wedding. I only want her opinion when I specifically ask for it.


She is basically doing all my floral decorations in the wedding and I do appreciate that immensely and am taking in the fact that she has done this before, but when I say I want something done with the flowers she gives me that look again and tells me I should do it another way.


This has happened with how I want my hair for the wedding. I want it down, she wants it up. My make-up. She wants me to be dramatic, I want to look like myself. The rehearsal dinner- I want it at one of my favorite places ever to eat, she doesn't want to come because she doesn't like the food.


This is all really getting on my nerves. I am to the point now where I'm really not even enjoying the wedding planning because I am tired of the negativity I am getting from her.

December to Remember

December this year is going to be absolutley crazy. In a good way though.

Here is a small sampling of what I have to do this month

1. Finish buying Christmas gifts. I started earlier this year then I did last year, but I'm still nowhere close to being done. I still have a large amount of gifts that I still need to buy.

2. I am working at Sears from 7-5 for the next couple of weeks due to the holiday hours. I'm praying the amount of grumpy customers will be at a minimum.

3. I need to go get my car's oil changed as well as the fluid levels checked and possibly get a new fuel filter on it. I really should get it aligned as well, but I really can't afford that right now.

4. I need to get my hair highlighted sometime in the next week or so in order for it to look good for the wedding. I want to give it a couple of weeks to adjust. I just feel like my hair looks better after it's been highlighted for a few weeks.

5. The 20th I am picking up Sean in Louisiana, as that is when his block leave starts. We are then coming back up to Oklahoma to spend Christmas with the family. This will only be the second time he's met my family so I am praying that it all goes well.

6. After Christmas it's only 4 days until our wedding. I'm going to be super busy getting stuff ready for that. It's so overwhelming at times, all that goes into a wedding. Sometimes I wish I could afford a wedding planner to do it for me, but then I think some of the fun goes out of it.

7. After the wedding we will be packing up my apartment and I will be moving to Louisiana. I told the apartment office today I would be out by the 3rd of January which gives me about 4 days to get everything together after the wedding.

Just thinking of all the things I need to do blows my mind!