I really contemplated not writing this post at all, but since this is something I've really been thinking and feeling today, I'm just going to go ahead and write it.
I have the baby blues right now, or maybe a case of the green eyed monster. Lately every time someone announces they are pregnant it makes a knot appear in my stomach and I get super jealous/angry.
I feel like every. single. time. I log onto Facebook/Twitter/Instagram someone is announcing they are pregnant. Please don't take this to mean that I'm not happy for people, because truly I am. I'm glad that my friends and family are blessed with growing families, but a part of me just thinks, "Why isn't this me? Why am I not the one announcing this?"
To be fair, Sean and I aren't actively trying to get pregnant right now. These last few months have been the first time since we've been married that we even have seriously discussed trying to get pregnant. And to be honest, there are still a couple of roadblocks in the way before I truly feel comfortable trying to get pregnant.
1. I want to have already gone through the home buying process. We are currently looking at homes, but have yet to find one that we really want to buy. I don't want to be dealing with buying a house and all the stress that goes along with it, while I'm pregnant.
2. I want to be in better physical shape. That might seem weird considering I'll get pregnant and then gain weight, but I would prefer to be in great shape when I get pregnant so I will be the healthiest I can be when I carry my child. Not to mention I'd like it to be less hard to get back in good shape if I've already been taking care of myself.
A part of me also worries that maybe when we start trying that we'll have issues. And then what will we do? Then it could be even longer before I get pregnant. And let's face it, I'm almost 30, which I know isn't old to start having children, but having children past the age of 35 does make me nervous.
My jealousy/anger issues are getting so bad that I'm to the point where I don't know if I want to even get on Facebook or other social media sites right now. I'm not sure if time off would help with this, or if I should just suck it up, as I still pretty much have another decade to deal with people around me getting pregnant.
I understand how you feel as I've been in your shoes myself. If social media is the issue than I see nothing wrong with taking a break from it. I'm sure you've heard it but your time will come and once you are really ready and it happens, it will be wonderful!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand and I've been there. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant and I also had that crazy idea to get in awesome shape before pregnancy, it's FANTASTIC plan, actually! The jealous and anger is hard to deal with. I didn't have it with my first but when I got pregnant with my second baby I ended up losing it. That caused crazy jealousy. It's tough to deal with. Honestly, I have not advice for how to deal with it other that talk about how you feel and hide people on facebook. Your time will come and you will be a wonderful mother, I'm sure of it!
ReplyDeleteI still remember being furious when a friend announced their pregnancy right after Tim and I decided to try for a 2nd baby. I bawled my head off, completely unable to even congratulate my friend. And I already had a baby! There are so many variables and it's so scary to think about, but trying to relax (ha!) and let it work was the best thing for me. I think I heard the average time it takes most couples is 6-8 months? It took 4 months each time for us (Weird huh?) and I was STILL worried.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs! And I can't wait until you get to make that same announcement! :)
I completely understand! Except we have gotten pregnant 3 times since having my daughter and each one I've miscarried and it seemed like every time after I would miscarry, a family member, or friend would announce their pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteIt will happen for you guys, and when it does, you guys are going to be amazing parents.
Trust me, I have been there! Over the last two years alone I think there have been almost 20 people in my life (friends & family) who have had babies. Some were already on their second or third one & I felt the exact same way! It wasn't that I was unhappy for them, I was just sad & let's face it, jealous that it wasn't my turn yet. When the time is right everything will fall into place for you. God has a way of working things out even when it doesn't seem like they will. I've wanted kids for the last three years & we are finally expecting our first one & it's the greatest blessing in the world. Looking back I am glad it didn't happen sooner. Keep your head up & try to stay positive and focus on the blessings in your life. :) Good luck & your time will come!
ReplyDeleteI honestly feel exactly like you. I'm in my late 20s and have dreamed of being a mom for so long. I get jealous of those fb posts too. I just keep telling myself that my time will come and it will be amazing. :)
ReplyDeleteI promise, I am 100% not getting pregnant! But for the record, my little sister totally got pregnant with baby numero dos when I was trying.
ReplyDeleteI've been there, lady. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to get on social media; sometimes you just have to take a break. Finally I'm okay with our decision to wait a little longer, which makes the fact that my sister (who is 20, married and owns a house) is due in February a little easier.
ReplyDeleteWhoops, that last comment was from Elizabeth W.
ReplyDeleteI feel like we're in a similar situation where I not ready to be pregnant right now, but I know exactly when I want to be pregnant. And since I've never had any type of pregnancy scare, I'm afraid that means I can't get pregnant. So even though I don't want to be pregnant right now, I want to know that I will be able to when I want to.
ReplyDeleteI can feel ya on this post. Lately, everyone I know is having a baby. You're right about buying the home and waiting because let me tell you, I just bought a house and I can't imagine having a baby during the whole looking/buying/moving process.
ReplyDeleteI definitely understand that feeling. Weirdly enough, I still feel jealous of people when they announce their pregnancies, and I AM pregnant. I hope that when y'all feel the time is right, it happens for you very quickly and you'll have a baby in your arms in no time :)
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