I was alone with my thoughts last night and a few situations that I've dealt with this past year just kind of overwhelmed me and the waterworks started. I think I actually scared Boomer because I was crying so hard. I realized that although I had forgiven this person for what they had done to me, that I still haven't forgotten it. Believe me, I have tried many, many times. It's almost as if the situation is burned into my memory banks. It crosses my mind at least once a day if not more.
That's not healthy and I realize this. After that good, cleansing cry last night I realized something. I HAVE to forget this or I'm never truly going to be happy again. Scary thought right? So after a quick prayer that I can begin to forget these situations I felt better.
I know it's not going to be easy, but I'm really going to try my hardest to deal with this and get it out of my mind. Please wish me luck on this! I can use your support.
I went to the PX last night and bought some new make-up. I was watching Carmandie on What Not to Wear do a makeover and it inspired me. I got some new waterproof mascara, few new eyeshadows, some new brushes and a new lipstick. It's sort of a peach shade and it looks really good on me. I have a tough time choosing lipsticks. Usually it either turns out too dark or too pink. I like something in between that's flattering. I also bought that Harajuku Baby perfume that I mentioned a few days ago. I just love the bottle! I eagerly sprayed it on this morning when I was getting ready and I'm already enjoying smelling it.
One more thing I bought was a sampler Yankee candle of Christmas Wreath. Oh my goodness...if you love the smell of Christmas trees then this is the candle for you! I can already tell I'm going to have to go back and buy a big candle.
I actually heard from Sean this morning on my way to turn in my Visa paperwork. I didn't recognize the number, but I guess he had borrowed a phone from a friend. He asked me where I was going, evidently they were on-post to stop by the shoppette and their van passed me. He said they might be home tomorrow, but realistically it was going to be Sunday night before they got home. It was just a quick conversation, but it was good to hear from him.
Since I didn't really have time for breakfast this morning at the house I stopped by Sonic to grab something. (Not helping with my weight loss I know) I got the french toast sticks with milk and they are so good! Not healthy for you, but very good!
Since it's casual day at the office I'm wearing my new clogs for the first time and boy are they comfy!
Mine are a little lighter brown than the ones in the picture, but they are super cute with jeans. Did I mention they were comfy?
Oh and before I forget, go check out Life in Germany's awesome giveaway. She's giving away the cutest German ornaments. Go check her out!
So what's everyones weekend plans?
I'm going to:
1. Perhaps go to dinner with a friend
2. Work out
3. Watch TV
4. Work on my scrapbook
5. Cheer on my Oklahoma State Cowboys agains the Texas Longhorns. It'd be a longshot for us, but I'm hoping for a win.
I'll be cheering on the Longhorns ;)
ReplyDeletethis is something I think everyone deals with in one form or another. I have also been struggling with this recently. My MIL was HORRIBLE to me during our wedding planning that I'm even having a hard time forgiving let alone forgetting....I know I need to do both or else I'll never have a healthy relationship with her, but honestly I just want nothing to do with her. Hugs to you!!
ReplyDeleteThis is something I am also really bad at. I am really struggling forgiving and forgetting the way my in-laws acted recently. I really need to get past it so it doesn't hurt my marriage, but I just don't know how to move on.
ReplyDeleteI'll be thinking about you as you go through this!
Saying a prayer for you! I know this must be tough, I am the same way. I fogive but I have a hard time forgetting. But forgetting is the only way to freedom...which is so much easier to say than actually do!
ReplyDeleteI don't know what you're going through but a good cry is very healthy. It's good to just let it out sometimes. Talking about these issues that are upsetting you is healthy too... a night of dinner and drinks with the girls is worth its weight in gold for problem solving and moving on. Best of luck. I'll keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I love Sonic and Yankee candles too!!!
To forgive and forget isn't for the person who hurt you, it's for yourself. So you can move on and be happy.
ReplyDeleteMy mom has done some terrible things but I realized at 17 that by hanging on to anger it was only hurting me. It didn't hurt her, it didn't make her feel any more sorry for what she did, it just held that cloud over me. So I have forgiven and forgotten.
Of course I keep my guard up because let's face it, who wants to be screwed over for the 1 millionth time. But at some point I just have to expect that from her. That is who she is. Expecting more from her is just stupid on my part because I know better.
Sorry for the longest comment EVER but this is a touchy one for me. I'm working on getting *R* to buy into this philosophy for his mom too. I'll let you know if it ever works. :-)
Sometimes a good cry works wonders for me.. I hope that worked for you..
ReplyDeleteI love those clogs. Where did you get them? I think they are super cute.
I am an OU fan but I am cheering for OSU too.. Ugh. I can't stand the Longhorns..
ooh I am so bad at forgetting. I can hold a grudge FOREVER. and sadly I have passed this on to my three year old who is still made at the kid who sat in his seat two months ago. I'm working on it... thats all I can do.
ReplyDeleteAnd the clogs are adorable! Where did you get them? I need something like that for the cold mornings up here.